estrogenet

Estrogen As A Chemical Throughout The Body...

2009-12-11T20:23:00.003-05:00

...and apparently, this blog moves throughout the internet.

New URL: estrogenet.wordpress.com

See you there!

It's Funny That Way

2009-10-21T12:29:00.003-04:00

I have noticed a strange problem. The more politically fired up I am, the better my blog. However, when I get to a certain threshold of fired-upness (for lack of better word), I get so overwhelmed that I can't write. Like the other day, for instance, in my Community Health class. I had a simple paper on helping to solve our rising population growth problem, and, having gone to a summit in DC about just how access to the family planning services women want can help curb that, I knew what my position was. However, it took me a long time to actually write the paper (up to the night before it was due) because I was so overwhelmed. The same thing happened this week on a paper about the economic crisis. And, in a place where I write the rules and nobody really can dictate what I do, I have trouble focusing my efforts. Maybe it's because I've already submitted a bunch of papers about I want to blog, but I have turned them into my community health class, and I don't want to screw up Turn-It-In if he uses it, but I don't see the point in re-wording myself. It's my hyper-conscious PLAGIARISM SUCKS mentality, I guess. Maybe I should be documenting my PNES recovery, but I guess that's what my livejournal is for.

Anyways, here is a list of my "hot-button" issues of late, in no particular order. Let's do the top five of today.

- Health Care Reform. Okay, this is a no-brainer for anyone who knows me. We need health care reform, and we need it now. I wish we could look adopt a single-payer program like Canada's eventually, I know we need to take baby steps. I'm just worried about the attack on women's health coverage, though, and the gender rating system, which increase our costs as women. And the fact that eight states (plus DC) consider domestic violence to be a "pre-existing condition"...that's just downright inhumane.

- The fact that abortion is still illegal in Massachusetts. ...I know, right? It's an archaic law that is obviously not enforced. Let's just take it out of the good ole MGL for now (and forever).

- Title V Abstinence Only Education Funding. I like scientifically accurate and non-biased information with my morning coffee, thanks.

- Domestic violence stigmas. It's so unfortunate that many women are afraid to speak out about domestic violence because it is such a sensitive issue. But if we don't report it, who are we protecting? It's not okay. Unfortunately, this will probably be something i battle for the rest of my life.

- Body Image Issues. Guilty as charged, guilty as charged, but it's so unfortunate that our culture promotes this self-hating mentality. I recommend the Love Your Body Campaign, To Write Love On Her Arms, and Operation Beautiful for resources.

These are good places to start.

Take care everyone!

<3Althea

Updates and Health Care

2009-09-12T19:07:00.003-04:00

Okay, it's been over a month- time to write again.

I moved into a huge high-rise building at UMass Lowell two weeks ago, to start my classes here. Overall, I like it. On the 13th floor, I have a beautiful view of the river, parts of North Campus (though, disappointingly, I can't see the nuclear reactor), and some of downtown Lowell. My window is at the perfect angle. My bed's up against that window, and my two roommates and I (we have a fourth bed in case another shows up!) all have a little alcove with our desks and such, so we can have privacy when we need it, but we're pretty social. We all get along really well.

This semester I'm taking chemistry, psychology, sociology, and community health & the environment. They're all really good (chem is way better than I expected, psych and sociology are just pretty interesting fields, and community health, as you can imagine, is absolutely amazing). Additionally, I am in marching band and the jazz/rock big band (which also serves as the hockey pep band, which is extremely exciting)!

Though it's no New Orleans, Lowell is a much more interesting city to live in than I thought it would be. I forgot how extensive the downtown is, and, though I haven't ventured there yet, I feel like it's a place I will have a lot of fun. I want to catch a Spinner's game (assuming we win tonight's game against Staten Island), and I want to do all of the historical stuff again, since it's been a while (Alymay trivia: when I was a kid, I went to Boott Camp here). I am excited about the close proximity of the Tsongas Arena, and I look forward to public skating :-)

UMass Lowell has three main campuses: North, South, and East. North is where (traditionally) all of the science-ish classes are held, most of the humanities-based (and health science/nursing) classes are on South, and East is where you find the most dorms (though there are a few dorms on North and South). I live on East, have a class on North (right across the University Ave bridge), and have three classes on South (which take a little longer than 20 minutes to walk to I think, but I haven't ever timed it). Though there is a shuttle bus (which I take if my trombone's on me), I much prefer to walk. As a result, I've already lost the weight I gained when I had sciatica and I feel healthier than ever (I've also been mostly seizure-free)!

On a completely separate sidenote...watch this if you haven't already (I know it's 47 minutes long, but if you're an American, I consider it your civic duty).

I am happier about President Obama's health care proposal than I thought I would be. No, I wasn't one of those "I HATE OBAMA'S COMMIE OUTLOOK" people, I was one of those "why won't he push for universal health care?" people. But he's right. We need to have a bipartisan approach to this if it's going to work, because we need reform now. I like that more financial assistance will be provided for people who need it. I like that nobody can get dropped or denied because of pre-existing conditions (which is a HUGE fear of mine for when I get off my parents' plan). Something important that people aren't talking too much about is that insurance agencies will be required to cover diagnostic tests like colonoscopies or mammograms, which will save them SO MUCH money and keep us healthy.

The only thing that concerned me about his plan was his little sidenote that the government insurance would not cover abortions. Reproductive rights should know no economic boundaries, and it makes me upset that since a large number of abortions are due to financial issues, the economically feasible option will not cover that procedure. I also worry that, if the President was so quick to say "no abortions!", what reproductive health care will be covered? Some people consider EC an abortion, and others think birth control itself is immoral. Where's the line for us as a nation? What will be covered and what won't?

Certainly something to think about.

STI Testing

2009-08-05T15:36:00.000-04:00

I hope this becomes a national thing.

What do you think?

Boycotting Marriage

2009-07-16T17:10:00.002-04:00

Hey everyone!

I decided today to join The National Marriage Boycott, and took a pledge that I waive my right as a heterosexual female to marry, until The Defense of Marriage Act is repealed. Though it feels a little like the opposite of an abstinence pledge (I may live with my partner out of wedlock, share finances, and/or have kids, but NOT marry them through the government!), I think it's noble to give up one's rights for equality. It feels strange boycotting an institution I am not joining anytime soon, but I bought myself an "Equality" not-wedding ring to wear on that finger, so I can remind myself to stay faithful to my pledge...like an abstinence ring, only abstaining from marriage instead of intercourse before it (note: I am not hating on abstinence rings, even though I don't believe in abstinence-only education, it's just the closest analogy I could make). I know I live in Massachusetts, where any two consenting adults can get married, but the Defense of Marriage Act defines marriage this way:

`In determining the meaning of any Act of Congress, or of any ruling, regulation, or interpretation of the various administrative bureaus and agencies of the United States, the word `marriage' means only a legal union between one man and one woman as husband and wife, and the word `spouse' refers only to a person of the opposite sex who is a husband or a wife.'

That leaves gay/lesbian couples out of a lot of federal benefits, like social security pension or immigration benefits, along with a LOT more.

So, since people probably won't be asking me why I'm not married anytime soon, being 19 and only having dated my boyfriend for two months, here's my announcement of why!

<3Althea

In Your Opinion...

2009-07-12T11:13:00.003-04:00

Is this ad offensive? Please leave comments, and respond in the poll on the right-hand column of the *estrogenet*.

<3althea

Adults: Back To Sex Ed Class?

2009-07-08T13:10:00.005-04:00

The other day, I was in the waiting room at my doctor's office and having forgotten my current book, O Magazine caught my eye. The cover mentioned a story about adult sex ed, and being a sexual health advocate and all (and a maybe someday wanna be OB-GYN), I had to read it (as you should, too). I was happy to learn that it was about the OWL (Our Whole Lives) program that my church, The Unitarian Universalist Association puts out.

I never got to do OWL, because the class near me was too far away when I was a high schooler, but a lot of the lesson plans they use are ones that I've taught in the classroom before. OWL takes a non-judgemental look at sexuality that cares not only about pregnancy and health, but psychology and healthy relationships. Sexuality isn't merely about putting a penis in a vagina and how pregnancy or STI transmission can occur. There are so many psychological aspects, realtionship factors, alternative sexual behaviors, and decision-making skills that need to be covered. The OWL curriculum does a great job of covering that.

The interesting thing about sexual health is information is always getting more and more accurate as scientific advancements/research studies/new STIs or birth control methods come out. For instance, fifteen years ago, there was no such thing as a NuvaRing, but it's now one of the hottest contraceptives on the market that women should be aware of. Less than thirty years ago, HIV was called "GRID", and heterosexual people did not know that they could contract it, nor did people who have blood-to-blood contact by sharing needles. Now, I spend at least a week on HIV alone whenever I have the chance to teach a class. The other interesting thing about sexuality is we are sexual beings from the day we are born (need to cuddle with parents) to the day we die, though we are not always sexually active in the ways we societally tend to think about sex. OWL really stresses that point. For these reasons, it makes sense that people should keep learning about sex ed throughout their lives, and I am very honored to belong to a church that radically expresses this idea.

<3 Althea

PS- Check out this review from Feministing, and if you are a woman who has had kids, please fill out this survey (whether or not you are currently sexually active), based on Betty Friedan's ground-breaking questionaire that led to her revolutionary work The Feminine Mystique, focusing on sex after children. I really wish I could help, but I don't quite fit the demographic.

PPS- Check out the poll on the right column

How To Take Care of Teens So They'll Talk

2009-06-25T10:09:00.006-04:00

Hey everyone!

I think I have "teen-issue" health down. I am a certified family planning counselor, so I am constantly asked about sexual health issues, I have many friends who have had issues with self-harm, I've read up on steroids, too many of my friends are current smokers, and I know a lot about the drug and alcohol issues my friends have dealt with. I also am very experienced at being a teenager in this millennium: I turn 20 in a little less than six months, so I'm on my "home stretch" of being a teen: I am still in it, but I'm on the "older, more mature" side of it all. I'm legally still an adult, but my allies lie with the teens, and I'll continue to advocate for them as long as I remember what it's like to be this age, I really really hope.

I personally think there should be set protocols for seeing teenagers in health clinics. It is crucial that doctors know things like sexual activity, medications, drug/alcohol use, and thoughts/actions of self-harm so they can receive the best medical care possible, without exposing them to treatments that could be dangerous or not protecting them to the best of their ability. I think doctors would get better answers and teens would be more protected and comfortable if some quick, basic, age-appropriate actions were taken.

1. Never ask a teen about things like smoking, drugs, sexual activity, self-harm, and steroid use in front of their parents- ever, even if they're older. Even though I tell the truth when they ask in front of my mom, at the age of 19, I know many of my friends would not if put in that situation, and for younger teens, the risk and fear of getting "in trouble" for telling the truth are high. I think, by the age of 12, parents should be "kicked out" for part of the physical. If it were a mandated protocol, that would even further protect the teen.

2. "you won't ask any leading questions, right?" A leading question is a question that has an expected answer, usually with a statement and a "right?" or another sentence that implies an assumption. I know kids who have smoked cigarettes at nine, others who have gotten pregnant at 12. When you're young and you think you might get in trouble or "lectured", you're less likely to tell the truth. Instead, ask, "are you sexually active?", "have you ever tried any tobacco products, like cigarettes?", instead of "you aren't sexually active, right?" or "I'm assuming you don't smoke?" It's hard when you're actually doing a session with someone, but trust me: the answers will be much more honest.

3. Use a non-judgmental tone. Though there are certain behaviors we all know are dangerous for teens to engage in, and doctors can certainly do what they can to correct those behaviors, most teens won't talk about it if they feel threatened or looked down upon.

4. Educate, don't lecture. If a teen admits to smoking cigarettes at sixteen, and you reply with, "you shouldn't smoke cigarettes, it's really bad for you", they may not tell you about the marijuana they've been smoking at seventeen. Try, "have you considered quitting? Smoking can cause lung cancer, problems in pregnancy, and other risks, and the sooner you quit, the lower your risks later in life." Plus, us teens like being treated like you grown-ups, and this is one way that we feel trusted.

5. Start asking young. I know, nobody wants to think about a twelve-year-old having unprotected sex and it's not very common, but if it has happened, it could happen again and you never know. Plus, if you've been asking since 12, a 16 year old might feel more comfortable saying "yes" when they get to that point.

6. Ask about sexual assault, regardless of gender and stated sexual activity. Even if it's as simple as "has anyone ever touched you in a way that made you feel uncomfortable?", it gives teens an opportunity to tell a story they may not have told so far. Though this is certainly not "lie-proof" and not everyone who has been will say "yes", it reminds the teen that there is support out there, so they may go home and call the rape crisis hotlines and get what they need.

7. Ask if they are taking birth control- even if they aren't sexually active. It's scary how easy it is for teens to get a hold of the good ol' BCPs, and even if it's "just in case" or "for my acne", it's important to note for drug interactions, and if it's much safer for a doctor to write an Rx than the teen to be acquiring them on the streets.

8. Prescription drug abuse may not qualify to teens as "drug abuse", so ask about it separately. I know a lot of people who buy adderall, vicodin, or klonopin from friends or on the street, but far too many don't consider it a "drug" in the same way as heroin or cocaine because it's not illicit, yet it still can be as (or sometimes more) dangerous.

9. Ask about witnessing/experiencing violence- in the home, and out. It is a doctor's legal priority to keep their patients out of abusive situations- especially at home- but beyond that, psychological damage can cause major health issues later on. It's important for the teen to be able to talk about the gang fight they saw in their psychology appointments and to tell their doctors that their parent has been beating them up.

10. Ask them if they want to mention "anything else" when you're finished with the health intake. Sometimes, that's when the crown jewels of information come out, from the weird abdominal pain that could be serious to the incessant bullying that could cause suicidal thoughts and should be referred to a psychologist, even if they may have been overlooked or confusing when they were asked originally. If the patient thought to bring it up, it's a real issue for them.

These guidelines are far from "lie proof", and it may take longer to do an intake session, but doctor-patient communication is key, and letting people know they can talk, even if they don't, is crucial for trust. Not trusting a doctor is scary for a patient and may cause the patient to discontinue a medication improperly (been there) or blatantly not listen to medical advice. Trust is a crucial key to better, personalized, medical care, and proper medical care is a right of teenagers.

<3 Althea

PS- Speaking of violating teen's rights....

I Am Dr. Tiller

2009-06-08T15:25:00.005-04:00

Hey everyone,

Dr. Tiller's death has really shocked me, which is why it's taken so long for me to write about it here. I understand the whole pro-life thing (to a point). I get why people feel that way, even if people use propaganda in the wrong ways to get to that point (like photoshopping pictures and alienating media). I understand the whole pro-life thing.

What I don't get is how killing someone is pro-life. Sure, people say that they're saving hundreds of babies by killing an abortionist, but killing is killing, and that's what pro-lifers are trying to avoid. I think protests are dangerous to women's health and dignity, but we'd all rather peaceful opposition than violent. That doesn't take an ounce of a second thought. Since most of pro-life arguments stem from religious arguments, which include to not kill and hate the sin not the sinner, it just doesn't make sense to me.

Anyways, pro-choice people are using Dr. Tiller's murder (which I, among many other people, feel was a case of domestic terrorism) as a mobilizer for education and activism around protecting reproductive rights. My favorite website to come out of this, iamdrtiller.com, talks about the different people who work as abortion providers, volunteers, and activists. I urge you to check it out.

It reminds me a lot of Emily X, which I wrote about a little while back here. Though it doesn't seem to be updated as of late, and most of the videos have been taken down, it's got lots of good stories about what it's like to work at Planned Parenthood.

The greatest thing happened to me talking to someone I've been seeing:

Me: so I do a lot of work with Planned Parenthood and stuff, so I just want to get that out of the way right now.
Him: what do you mean?
Me: I'm pro-choice.
Him: Oh that's cool. I can't have an opinion, I'm male.

That's a way to win over a feminist's heart.

<3 Althea

PS- What do you want to hear about? Vote in my poll!

The Business-Closing Blues

2009-05-26T16:43:00.003-04:00

[This is what happens when I'm bored and I've been listening to too much early jazz (is that even possible? Too much early jazz?). I'd throw up a recording if only I could play rhythm section instruments well...though I suppose I could lay down a walking line on the bass bone. Depends on how exciting my night is I guess.]

Business-Closing Blues (Key of G, 12-bar 1-4-5 progression) by Althea S.

This recession keeps comin'
Keeps comin' round the bend
This recession keeps a comin'
Keeps comin' round the bend
This recession will take courage
And our hard work to end

I see businesses closing
Everywhere I look
I see businesses closing
Everywhere I look
Old places I used to frequent
My every hang-out nook

(trombone solo, 2 choruses)

Went back to Fitchburg
To visit my old town
Went back to Fitchburg
To visit my old town
This recession's like a virus
Seems to hit everyone around

I see businesses closing
Everywhere I look
I see businesses closing
Everywhere I look
Old places I used to frequent
My every hang-out nook

The stimulus package is helping
But they don't understand
The stimulus package is helping
But they don't understand
They keep on moanin' about their tax rate
While nothing's in demand

<3 Althea

A little bit of oxytocin- kittens!

2009-05-21T13:11:00.003-04:00

Hey everyone!

I haven't written on *estrogenet* in a long time- almost a month. It's pretty intense for me to go that long, but I haven't had anything worth sharing or even been too active with any of my usual causes, so I haven't been trying to promote any causes (except the facebook group about not letting friends conquer russia when winter's approaching- that's pretty funny). I've been sick, and it's been tough on me.

I have two adorable kitties curled up next to me right now. They don't even have names yet. They are seven weeks and amazingly cute. We've definitely bonded and they know me as "mommy". I also have been at the charter school almost every day since i returned. It's really nice to be back there, subbing, and things like that. it's also nice to have my younger friends that I hadn't seen in forever to eat lunch with. It's hard for me to transition from student to sub teacher, because I feel like I'm too authoritative to hang out with most students (I mean, I still have tons of friends who haven't graduated high school yet, and that's fine), and too young to be with the teachers. We'll see what happens.

This entry's just a "I'm still alive" update.

<3 Althea

Planets, and Me Dropping Off the Face Of Them

2009-04-26T19:32:00.005-04:00

Hey guys!

The following things have kept me from writing.

- I'm having seizures, among other dizzy-type symptoms, because my brain is asymmetrical. Weird, huh? Anyways, I'm now being medicated for it and we know what's wrong so all we can do now is wait things out and hope that the seizures go away.
- I'm on medical leave from school (rather taking incompletes in everything until the fall), so laying in bed all day's what I do all day. Correction: KKPsi, various bands (I'm playing jazz fest this weekend!) and new member PHAT meetings- that's what I do. My room's a mess, and i've been picking things up as I feel well enough.
- My darling little macbook had epic fail and lost EVERYTHING. I haven't even opened the "Macintosh HD" logo- I've only downloaded firefox and adium and changed my background to "a host of golden daffodils" because the Wordsworth poem was stuck in my head
- Lack of inspiration. When you spend all your days in your room or in the hospital, you don't pay attention to global things.

NOTE: Last week was Get Yourself Tested week with Planned Parenthood, MTV, and the Kaiser Family Foundation so I suggest y'all do that. I actually participated myself involuntarily, but that was to make sure I didn't have some crazy STI that was causing the abdominal pain. And I tested negative for "baby" at least four times in the last two weeks (like I was in the ER on Tuesday- negative pregnancy, in the ER Wednesday, they tested me AGAIN. Not to mention twice last week!t There shall be no babies from me in the next nine months at LEAST)

So I'm sick of being sick and doctors not calling me back and I want to go back to when I could just jump up and go on an adventure. I remember having coffee with a friend and being like, "let's go hike a mountain!" and we did. I'll still be able to do that, I just will have to be more careful about it. And swimming. I feel so free in water. But my discharge papers say "no swimming/baths", "no ledges/heights", and "no driving", three things I love to do to vent- you'll probably see more of me here. I wish I could do more these days, but as for now, it's just updates on my health. I have to get better before I can make the world better- a lesson that I might be learning for years.

So many people have helped me so much- even people I hardly know- through all of this. As stated in one of my favorite books on this city, "you can always depend on the kindness of strangers". How true.

<3 Althea

EDIT: I just checked the poll- 3 of the 7 people who responded thought it was a good idea to have tax day tea parties, but 4 agreed with me that it was impractical. Interesting. I'll come up with a cool poll in a second.

Okay I'm Back...

2009-04-15T16:05:00.007-04:00

"Just living is not enough," said the butterfly, "one must have sunshine, freedom and a little flower." ~Hans Christian Anderson
Hey everyone!

I have mildly run off the face of the planet (i.e.the blogosphere) to take care of my health, care of Tulane's ER, more crazy nerve medications that I can count, and this:

For future reference, Bubble Gum is not the best flavor of Pedialyte, but the sheer novelty makes it worth it in my eyes. Plus, its bright pink color makes it match everything in my room, from my desk lamp to my duct tape (powerade, though containing more glucose than someone who can hardly walk needs (according to my doctor), does much better with marketing to my age bracket, in my opinion). The docs still don't know what exactly is wrong, but they think they've narrowed it down to my nervous system. I am starting to wish I paid more attention to that in A&P back in my Fitchburg State days...this whole ordeal is actually making me wish I had stuck with nursing, but maybe I'll get back to it in grad school.

I don't really have the attention span to do these issues/concepts justice, but luckily cyber/real life amigos of mine have already covered them so I don't have to- I can just direct more people to their blogs!

+ Fitchburg peeps: kindly direct your attention to Unicow's post about DiNatale preferring streetlights to firefighters at some point- it's pretty telling. He also had a good response to Hargraves being inanely homophobic per usual.

+ Americans who are having tea parties today: Unless you're in DC, you really can't talk about lack of representation, and there wasn't a net tax increase. Just ask my super cool brother Andy! I think he summed it up nicely:-) Also check out my relevant quiz!

+ Kudos to Joe over at Amplify for posting this video response from Iowa state senator Mike Gronstal when asked to cosponsor a ban on gay marriage. It's kinda cute and touching:-)

Finally, New Orleans people- eat at Fresco's today (4.15) and mention Kappa Kappa Psi or the Tulane Marching Band and 20% of your bill will go to my awesome band fraternity! Just in case you need an excuse to eat at one of the best restaurants in walking distance of campus:-)

<3 Althea

Taking A Break

2009-03-29T23:40:00.002-04:00

Hey *estrogenet*

Things have gone beyond my normal control so I'm going on a vacation indefinitely until whenever I can manage this blog again. I'll still read all my friends who write for other blogs, but as for me writing, I need a break.

<3 Althea

Spring Break Coming to a Close

2009-03-27T22:12:00.007-04:00

Hey y'all-

I figured I would write more when I was home than here, but it was quite the opposite. It's kind of crazy that I had to practically kick myself to write this, and I still don't feel like I have no direction. I still have little desire. I am literally writing right now about how I don't feel like writing.

So what I'll do is write a list of things I would blog about if I had the energy. Pretend I'm updating my twitter a bunch of times over.

Time Magazine (a treat that I get delivered weekly when I'm in Massachusetts!) has a good article on comprehensive sex ed: a must read if you don't know much about these issues, preaching to the choir if you do
Alleged vampires at Boston Latin- is blood letting the new anorexia? (Kudos to Unicow for pointing me in this direction)
EC for 17 year olds- about time!
Gay Marriage passes in Vermont's senate and New Hampshire's house.

There's plenty to be excited for (or freaked out about the vampire thing- I have some theories of it that I want to delve into soon (I am still gathering information because like Barack Obama, "I like to know what I'm talking about before I speak, OK?"))- when I have more energy, I promise a solid post.

Take care.

<3 Althea

Still Dealing with the Ice Storm

2009-03-22T01:02:00.004-04:00

Hey everyone,

I'm back in New England on spring break. It feels really great to be here and see people (and puppies!) I've missed. I hope to spend more time in the city of Fitchburg, because I have missed it a lot. But one thing has surprised me: the ice storm is still something that's talked about and the effects are obvious.

Soon after I landed in NH, I saw lots of fallen wood and things, which I had expected. The state of trees was not well when I left in January, and I didn't think it'd be perfect, and coming up to my house, it got a lot more prevalent. I saw more bonfires than I can count driving around, and it seemed to be what a lot of people were talking about around town. I went to Pickity Place in Mason, NH today with my mother, arguably my favorite restaurant in the world, which in order to access, you must drive up a fairly steep hill on a muddy road. Looking over the valley in a spot you can often see Boston from, there was a great haze- that's how many fires were going today.

It just reminded me that North Central Mass/Southern NH still needs support, and though I'm off (trying to be) making a difference in New Orleans, there are differences to be made here, too.

Love,
Alymay

New Orleans, Full of Trust and Faith

2009-03-20T06:18:00.005-04:00

This entry has little to nothing to do with feminism- I just like updating my blog from airports with random thoughts on leftover painkillers I took last night. I'll do my best:-)

Everywhere one travels in New Orleans, they see people hoping, trusting, and loving.

Maybe that's why I am so attached to this city- people want to be treated like people here, vulnerable, loving, caring, complete people. People who know what it is to lose and gain, people who know what it means to love and be loved, people who want to work to make our city a great place. No hurricane can hold us back- we post-Katrina newcomers are a part of the rebirth process, making this city the best it can be. Like a good girl scout, I try my hardest to leave places better than I found them.

I didn't sleep last night- it's 5:24 AM, and I'm at the terminal waiting for my flight back to Fitchburg. It's interesting having two interchangeable "home" locations- in some ways, New Orleans and Boston are very similar, but in other ways, they are very different. In my opinion (and this is very subjective here), people take it easy and live in the moment, live FOR the moment, and would rather find true happiness than what seems 'logical' or properly dictated. People wouldn't live in a city underwater in the ages of global warming unless it was a very special place, and anyone who's ever been to New Orleans knows it is just that.

Our cab driver drove very fast today. This is not news, they all do, in fact, it's not just the cab drivers. I thought some of my more reckless high school friends had scary habits, but everyone down here just drives like that. Part of me feels I could never move to New Orleans because I wouldn't be able to drive under conditions like that!

See, the thing is, when you drive in New Orleans, you leave a lot up to fate, and trust in others. Any person could just swerve in front of you on the highway, but you trust that they won't. Strangers interact more here, and you just learn to adjust that they aren't necessarily trying to scam you (though sometimes they unfortunately are, which hurts our character as a city), just trying to create conversation. After all, isn't it our city that A Streetcar Named Desire takes place? Can't we always depend on the kindess of strangers?

My experience this morning made me think of some one my friends. One in particular has adapted very well from his Northern mindsets (if he ever had one?) to this lifestyle of trust and faith. Other friends of mine, also "yankees", would not do as well with driving 85 in a 50 like the general traffic flow was this morning based on trust. That's scary fast to me! It feels unsafe for me to speed more than 5 MPH over the limit, and here my cab driver's going 35 over! Some perspective: my road doesn't even have a 35 MPH speed limit- it's 30. And when people go above 37, we flip out.

But in New Orleans, it's part of our lives to trust people. It's certainly something I'm learning to do- I'm learning to let go of things and allow things to just happen. It is part of what some say is my "yankee" mindset to think think think think think, but I need to start just existing. Isn't that all we've ever done?

<3 Alymay
^no need for formality today.

Too Ridiculous For Words

2009-03-17T03:18:00.005-04:00

It's the year 2009.

It's time for people to stop hating on other groups and time for acceptance and change.

Not the subject of this warning, from SIECUS. You know what to do, kids.

ACTION ALERT

Tell Superintendent Ed Turlington: Teach Respect!

Reinstate Teacher Debra Taylor!

SIECUS and a number of other organizations have been monitoring a school controversy in Grandfield, OK where a teacher was recently suspended for teaching The Laramie Project, an award-wining play about the murder of Matthew Shepard, a young man in Wyoming who was killed because he was gay.

Debra Taylor, who teaches the Ethics and Street Law class, was using pieces of the play to help her students examine how hatred and intolerance can be justified by attitudes within a community, a church, or in the home. Midway through the unit, Superintendent Ed Turlington told her to stop teaching the material. She held a mock funeral for the play to give her students closure and was subsequently suspended. She has now accepted a resignation agreement, as she feared that she would otherwise be fired.

Her students are standing behind the play and their teacher. “She always taught us to speak our minds and have our voices heard,” said one student. We need to tell Superintendent Turlington that Debra Taylor is a dedicated teacher who is willing to confront issues of respect and acceptance for all people regardless of sexual orientation and that she deserves to be immediately reinstated.

Tell Superintendent Turlington: Teach Respect! Reinstate Teacher Debra Taylor!

Advocates in Oklahoma, Texas, and surrounding states are strongly encouraged to call or email in support.

TAKE ACTION NOW…call Superintendent Turlington at 580-479-5237 or send an email to eturlington@grandfield.k12.ok.us and tell him:

“Debra Taylor did not deserve this kind of treatment. Young people need dedicated teachers willing to confront issues of respect and acceptance for people of all sexual orientations. She should be commended for creating a safe space for all her students and should be reinstated immediately.”

In the words of Romaine Patterson, my personal favorite character from the Laramie Project, "Yeah, this twenty-one-year-old little lesbian is ready to walk the line with him." Only I'm not 21 and I'm not a (complete) lesbian.

<3 Althea

Thank You, Senate.

2009-03-10T23:14:00.007-04:00

Hey everyone!

What's the most you or your partner has ever had to pay for birth control (if necessary)? Many women these days expect to pay about fifty bucks a month if their insurance doesn't have flex spending, especially for popular methods like NuvaRing or Yasmin, that don't yet have a generic version.

Why should we care? Let's let this Planned Parenthood video tell us some reasons.

Luckily, help is on the way! In the pass of the senate's appropriations bill, affordable birth control will be restored- all it needs is President Obama's signature (and I was so worried about it in January). This is amazing news! How did we get such high prices, anyways? Let's let Planned Parenthood's ABC page tell us:

Fall 2007
A legislative error is made while creating the next year’s budget. It causes the price of birth control to skyrocket by up to 900 percent for low-income women and college students in 2008. Planned Parenthood leaps into action.

Spring 2008
Planned Parenthood joins forces with a group of more than 40 colleges and to send an open letter to Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Majority Leader Larry Reid asking that Congress’ mistake be amended.

Summer 2008
As birth control prices climb, Planned Parenthood launches the Affordable Birth Control Campaign and starts to mobilize students and activists across the country.

September 2008
Nearly 300 campuses in 45 states across the country participate in the Planned Parenthood Affordable Birth Control Week of Action. College students come to Washington, DC, to tell their members of Congress stories about how they have been affected by rising birth control costs. More than 50,000 supporters across the country show their support for the Affordable Birth Control Campaign.

January 2009
Rep. Joseph Crowley (D-NY) introduces the Prevention Through Affordable Access Act, a bipartisan, no-cost solution to the problem of birth control pricing. Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) introduces a similar bill in the Senate.

March 2009
A no-cost provision to fix affordable birth control is added to the appropriations bill. Thanks to Planned Parenthood supporters, Sen. Jim DeMint (R-SC) fails in his attempt to claim that the vital legislation is an earmark. The appropriations bill is sent to President Obama.

It's a good thing this 1.5 year fiasco of insane prices has finally come down a bit! College campuses and low-income clinics will now be able to provide birth control at reasonable prices for all women. This is such a great change in the right direction- now it's all up to the president!

Love,
Althea

Why I Untagged Myself In All Of Those Pictures

2009-03-06T19:48:00.009-05:00

*estrogenet*-

I'm tired of repeating the same speech to everyone, so I'm putting it up here, well aware that some people probably will attack me for this, because facebook can sometimes be synonymous with "drama". Lately, if you've been on facebook and you're about my age (nineteen), you've seen one of these:

These have been popping up all over the place. There's even variations, like this:

What you do is tag your friends to the appropriate stereotype. So, if your friend eats constantly, you'd tag the guy in the bottom right corner on the top image. This, at first, seemed like innocent fun to me, but I was a little suspicious and worried. It seemed like an activity that could be taken out of context very fast, and in many cases, it has been. More than one friend has called me upset about what another friend had tagged them as, and I had my fair share of disappointment in friends as well. I decided to untag myself in all of these, even the positive ones, out of almost protest, to align myself with those who were really hurt by it (I myself wasn't so much hurt by the negative ones as thinking "wow, they obviously don't understand what's been up with me lately" and just untagged myself). The funny thing is, every time I untagged myself, people called me out on it saying, "why'd you untag? We didn't mean it to hurt you!" Of course they didn't, they're my friends, but it's kind of creepy that no person has failed to notice me untagging thus far. Therefore, people have been paying a lot of attention to this, and on facebook, that's seldom a good thing. It dictates our lives far too much.

Here's the main reason I have untagged myself in all of them so far and will continue to do so: when you tag someone as say "the slut", "the grumpy one", or "the funny guy", you reduce all of your friends' complex personalities into a small, pre-designed, socially-constructed stereotype (not to mention a lot of them are highly genderized and not the kinds of words I like to call people, especially my 'friends'). It is a reflection of judgements, and that may seem harmless on the surface, but may send the wrong message, and then that devalues the connection you two have as a person, maybe just microscopically at first, but still detrimental the same. Humans are far too complicated to be reduced to a one-liner, and I felt very hurt when people tried to do that to me. That's what labels do, they isolate a collection of traits, give it a name, and thus reduce their impression of that group to that label. You may fit under lots of these labels, but a lot of times, people only see one or two. That sounds kind of dramatic, but that's what it is, in a nutshell. Think about it.

I am not necessarily saying you should delete them all and boycott like I am, just think about what your tagging might mean to another person in the situations they're in, and if I untagged myself in one of yours, try to understand why. I still love you:-)

<3 Althea

PS- let me know what you think! Poll's in the right column.

Back to the Real World

2009-02-27T01:58:00.006-05:00

Hello estrogenet!

It's hard to go back to the real world after an extended weekend of nonstop fun, but I'm getting there. Wednesday morning, I finally had an accurate diagnosis as to what's going on with my leg (or should I say, my sciatic nerve), and an MRI tomorrow (erm...today) should confirm the cause of this sciatica, and until that comes back, I get to take a medication, which literally states, "psychic derangements when corticosteroids are used, ranging from euphoria, insomnia, mood swings, personality changes, and severe depression, to frank psychotic manifestation," so I have been trying to keep myself busy, not to mention return to normal, as much as possible.

What's in the news? Too much crazy stuff to report on one single article. If you haven't already, look at these Amplify links about anti-masturbation t-shirts, crazy Colorodo state senators, or shortcomings in the 2010 budget plans in the sex ed department, as they will point you in the right direction. And if you haven't seen the abstinence clown thing yet, seriously get on that...

As for estrogenet's opinion of PeTA, here's what we found:

What do you think of PeTA's ad? Check all that apply
71% Definitely sexist against women.
42% too sexual for a youthful audience!
14% People are making a big deal of nothing.
0% I took it as satire
0% It's a great ad that really drove the message home.

Seems like people either were either against the ad or had no strong opinions about it either way, and most of the responders found the sexism to be more offensive than the sexual nature. I was actually expecting more controversy, but I never get upset when there's few arguments going around! It may say something about my reader-base, though- maybe I'm preaching to potential choirs. We'll see.

Bobby Jindal has definitely been upsetting me lately, but I haven't really had the energy to care as much about politics and being fired up as I usually do. Some will view this as a positive thing, that maybe I'm calming down, but I don't see it that way. I feel like I'm losing a part of my spirit that calls out these issues and wants progress, wants change. I feel burned out, maybe it's seeing budget cuts hurt the cities I love, maybe it's New Orleans losing a big chunk of its comprehensive sex ed, or maybe it's just my leg hurting. I feel a weight in my spirit and I can't wait until it can dance to the issues it lives to resolve.

In other words, I can't wait to have the energy work for what matters to me again.

<3 Althea

PS- Check back for a new poll relatively soonish.

Mardi Gras Updates

2009-02-22T15:36:00.006-05:00

Free. At peace. Easy-going.

That's how this city makes me feel. It's not called the Big Easy for no reason- the general atmosphere of this place helps me cope. This month has been very hard on me (if not the hardest of my life) 'on paper', but I am, for the most part, in very good spirits. In fact, I don't know if I've ever felt better. I like living in a city where for about a week a year, we through the most gigantic, entertaining party I've ever been a part of...and I know I've got another one next year and the next year and the next. Right now, it's what's keeping my usual February depression far, far away (well, the sun being visible here might have more of a chemical reason, but I like the Carnival Season theory better). This is like Christmas only everyone in the city celebrates and instead of being confined to our houses with wood stoves, we take it to the streets and throw beads and doubloons at people.

When I sat down, I figured I'd write about my usual doses of feminism and sexual health news, because believe me, there's plenty of stuff I'd love to reflect on that's been going down nationally for the last few days, but I'm too at peace right now. To be honest, this Carnival season is making me feel much more secure in my decision to go to social work school after finishing my communication degree here. Though I love my die-hard, angry lobbyist mindset I get in- it makes me feel alive, strong, and productive, talking one-on-one with someone who's having trouble and working to make things work out for them is so much more important to me these days. I want social change, but I want to act locally. I want to master community organizing before hitting up the big guns on the hill. And I want to do it here, in New Orleans, where I belong (at least for a little while).

<3 Althea

PS- the PeTA poll is closed, but I'm going to wait to talk about the results and open a new poll until after mardi gras.

More Important V-Days To Commemorate

2009-02-15T01:53:00.008-05:00

Though it's technically the fifteenth now, I feel like mentioning a few holidays that extend beyond the Whitman's Samplers and dozen roses. My Valentine's Day proved to be a roller coaster of emotions as I just had a break-up, but I'm happy to feel settled right now. I do feel guilty about posting this after the fact, so maybe you could celebrate a day late?

1. National Condom Awareness Week
Sure, this doesn't make the millions of us who are going home to an empty bed tonight feel any better, but I don't even need to tell you how important condom access is, and education is so vital to that process. Wrap it up!

2. Eve Ensler's V-Day Campaign
Here's a much more important way to spend Valentine's Day- ending violence against women and girls. Eve Ensler is a fantastic activist (see a love-post of mine to her here), so it's wonderful to see her doing this kind of work. Tulanians, you can check out info about the Tulane Vagina Monologues opening on the 6th of March here.

3. Massachusetts White Ribbon Day
Along the same lines as V-Day, this is a day for men in particular to pledge their support to be a part of the solution against gender violence on Valentine's Day. This is organized by Jane Doe, Inc.

Right there, we have three much more productive things to do on Valentine's Day other than craving roses, Ben and Jerry's, chocolate and watching Sex and the City (which is how my last few have been spent). I am not saying you should abandon these rituals, just be sure to look at the brighter side of things.

Much love,
Althea

PS- We have poll results!

Sarah Palin: Could she be described as a feminist?

Yes: she is a self-described feminist- 11%

No! Actions speak louder than words. - 44%

She does feminism cafeteria style: pick and choose- 33%

Not sure- 11%

Nice to see some controversy here, but it looks like most people think her actions speak louder than words. Be sure to vote on my next poll, on PeTA!

PeTA Does Not Equal Feminism or Even Good Morals.

2009-02-13T11:21:00.004-05:00

Sorry I haven't been writing, I also haven't been walking:-( I am sure once I have a diagnosis and my schoolwork is back on track, I'll be blogging frequently again.

Hang tight. And, in the meantime, some shame for PeTA.

I obviously have no problem with vegetarianism, seeing I've been one off and on for eight years (including right now). But it shames me to see people promoting my causes in ways like this:

Really, PeTA?

I also think it's ironic they're wearing silk...that comes from a worm, which they usually kill to acquire these days.

Think about this ad, let me know what you think- I'll have more for you when I finish my work for the week and know what's wrong with my leg.

<3 Althea

My 100th Post!

2009-02-01T23:51:00.008-05:00

Hello my fellow partakers in estrogen and/or oxytocin!

It seems like everyone who felt they knew enough about the Global Gag Rule that responded to my poll agreed with it, which is good because I feel my readers are educated, but bad because people who disagree aren't reading, and I like happy little discussion times.

This is my 100th post on estrogenet (at least according to my blogger home page: I'm counting less than that but I'll take the milestone)! It's hard to believe that I have been that productive over the last year and a half or so, but I feel really great about it. Here's to the next 100.

And what better way to celebrate my 100th by giving some good ol' fashioned love and oxytocin to a woman I usually hate on: Sarah Palin (like here, for instance).

Feministing linked me here today. At first, I didn't take it quite seriously. It's hard for me to call a woman who charged women for their own rape kits when she was mayor of Wasilla, Alaska, but now that I think about it, Sarah Palin did do good for feminism. So many times in my life, people have told me that I shouldn't be a feminist because it's just for lesbian tree huggers who don't shave their legs and burn bras at rallies. There are no problems with those feminists (I fit more than one of those criteria to some degree), but there is so much more than that we have to see to make feminism accessable to the general women. We don't all drive subarus and wear birkenstocks.

Feminism is the radical idea that women should be treated equally as men. As simple as that. And Sarah Palin admitting she's a feminist drove that message home- conservative Christian woman could tell their daughters, "Look at Governor Palin. She's a Christian mother of five and she ran for vice president." And maybe when that daughter is older and getting fed up with politics, she'll know she can run. Or if she wants to run her own business or climb that career ladder, she can give a big "f-you" to the glass ceiling. That's feminism right there. And though it's not my exact motives, and though it's not what I'm working on, it helps the cause in general.

We shouldn't exhault Sarah Palin to her own palace because of her feminism, because she still has work to do for the betterment of women, but thanks are in order.

So, thank you, Governor Palin, for giving us a role model that's accessable to women who don't want to be called "liberal".

<3 Althea

PS- vote in the poll on the right hand column.

Diva Cup: What Happens When Feminism Meets Environmentalism

2009-01-30T16:09:00.004-05:00

This is a review of the Diva Cup, a reusable menstrual cup with environmental initiatives. So, if you don't want to hear about periods, vaginae (love that that's a word), menstrual cups, and other anatomical wonders of the female body, I highly suggest you stop reading. I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable, but this is a pretty awesome product. For some reason, I feel comfortable talking about sex and birth control in my blog, but not periods. Probably because people my age seem to be less comfortable with periods than they are sex. That's backwards to me!

I tried out the Diva Cup recently because I think tampons are terrible, but saintly compared to pads, and we waste so much cotton and plastic every period. I am the kind of girl that brings re-usable shopping bags whenever she remembers and feels incredibly guilty when she doesn't recycle, so I wanted to give it a shot (plus, $30 for the next x number of periods versus the increasingly expensive tampon boxes that might last you 2-3 months? it seemed much more economic).

Just take a look at some of the reviews!

“Not every woman can afford a hybrid car nor easily convert their home to solar power. Yet, by choosing to use a menstrual cup instead of disposable tampons and pads, any woman is able to make an environmentally responsible choice each month. This is no small matter. In the U.S. alone, billions of tampons and pads are dumped into landfills and the environment each year.” Carinne Chambers

Or this one!

“With all the state-of-the-art conveniences Western society has developed, it baffles us why outdated feminine products are still being used. We believe that reusable menstrual cups are the next generation of feminine hygiene because they are the most environmentally responsible choice. They are also the most convenient and reliable option available and are not linked to Toxic Shock Syndrome.” Francine Chambers.

All sounds pretty good to me!

As for my experience, my first attempt at insertion was a little difficult. I felt like the eleven-year-old girl inside me who was handed instructions on inserting tampons and puzzled for about fifteen minutes (and to an eleven year old (or nineteen year old) girl, playing with your vagina in a non-masturbatory way for fifteen minutes is like six hours of pain and anguish) before I could finally use one. I did the same thing at nineteen as i did at eleven: took a break, thought about something else, and tried again, successfully. Like anything, it takes practice, but my experience has overall been successful. It even can be cleaned with the "Diva Wash", which is a concentrated, vegan (and not tested on animals), and hypoallergenic body/facial/diva cup cleanser, which is always good. It also can subtly fit into a purse or something, as it comes with a nice little pouch and a cute pin that says "DIVA". I dig:-)

Though my experience is still minimal with the Diva Cup, I already can recommend it to fellow environmentally concerned menstruating women.

Love,
Althea

PS- leg pain was just tendinitis! This is very good news because tendinitis is a lot better than some of the things they thought it was.

Where are we going, where have I been?

2009-01-25T12:14:00.007-05:00

Hey everyone!

Sorry about my recent absence, I've been in and out of the hospital with severe leg pain. They still haven't figured out what's causing it, but I'm nice and numbed out on painkillers right now, so I can concentrate on something that's not "HOLY CRAP MY LEG HURTS". I've been doing my best to push through the pain, but sometimes it gets really bad. Sorry if this entry becomes incoherent: the meds I am on all have "dizziness" and "blurred vision" as side effects.

What helped me more than anything through the pain was a text I received in the ER the other day, informing me that Obama overturned Global Gag. Excellent news! Regardless of your opinion of abortion, I promise you, this is a good thing. If anything, I think it will lower the abortion rates internationally.

This is my theory: the organizations that would've received federal funding before Global Gag was enacted (Planned Parenthood, UNFPA, et cetera) do not only provide abortions (both Planned Parenthoods in Louisiana don't even provide abortions). These organizations are family planning care organizations, and no doctor would ever claim that an abortion is the best method of family planning- preventing conception is best. Abortion is a tool for women whose birth control method (or lack thereof) failed. Teaching people different methods of birth control, as simple as cycle beads (which aren't as effective) to the modern day pills/IUDs/et cetera will prevent pregnancies from happening, thus lowering the abortion rate overall.

Many people in the developing world know that abortions exist, so if they had an unplanned pregnancy because they did not have access to birth control, they might try and seek one. The abortions they had access to may not be medically safe, so the risk of maternal death increases. Say this mother had young kids- why they didn't want any more pregnancies- those kids are motherless from a procedure that could have been performed in a much safer environment. Funding organizations like UNFPA or Planned Parenthood saves lives. Just imagine if everyone who wanted birth control could have it- especially in an overpopulated world like ours.

Thanks, President Obama (saying it like that makes me smile), for overturning this dangerous rule.

<3 Althea

PS- in the last poll, almost all of you said clowns shouldn't teach sex ed. What do you think of global gag getting overturned? Vote in the poll section at the top of the right column!

Abstinence is For Clowns?

2009-01-15T21:03:00.004-05:00

My first week of classes has been crazy! I finally had time today to sit down and reflect on what was going on in my favorite blogs and see what was new in the world.

What I found sickened me.

Not a dime of federal money goes towards real sex ed (speaking of which, support the REAL Act!), but here we are supporting clowns like Derek Dye with a "Bachelor in Fun Arts" and an abstinence ed certificate that costs $50 to teach our youth about one of the most fundamental health problems facing us today (who also has NY Mets mascot experience advertised on his website), not the countless MPHs, MDs, and other experts who actually know what they're talking about.

From a pro-abstinence standpoint, I think that Derek Dye almost downplays the abstinence message himself. Middle schoolers are smart enough to know that clowns are full of tricks up their sleeves- that's not a way to get trust when it's something as important as this. Let's leave sex ed to the teachers and parents (and trained peer health advocates!!)

I hope Tuesday will bring the changes we believe in, as promised.

<3 Althea

PS- czech out the new poll in the sidebar about this!

Talk To Your Kids!

2009-01-10T14:28:00.002-05:00

Here is an edited version of a paper I wrote for my Human Sexuality class last semester that I figured was worth sharing.

It is no secret to parents and children alike that some parents have a great deal of difficulty talking to their children about sex, but we seldom look at the larger psychological consequences of communication lapses in a parent/child relationship. I read two articles for my human sexuality class last semester that shed light on issues that can arise from these communication breakdowns. The first article talked about how fathers communicate with their daughters about sex, and how improved communication could lead to less risky behavior on the part of the daughter (Collins Angera, & Latty, 2008). The second article found that if parent-child communication improved, daughters would be more likely to disclose a sexual assault, and would be more likely to distinguish acquaintance rape from a bad date (Smith & Cook, 2008).

According to the first study I read, fathers and mothers tend to communicate differently to their female children when talking about sex. The study started with a questionnaire of both male and female college students on their conversations with their fathers around sex. Ten college-aged females of the study were then interviewed for a more in-depth look at specific communication issues. The study found that fathers and daughters alike tend to feel uncomfortable when they communicate with each other about intercourse, which can lead to difficulty asking questions and possibly risky behavior on the part of the daughter. The study also found that fathers would be more likely than mothers to make jokes about sex to express concerns with their daughter, rather than directly approaching the subject. This approach may be to overcome overarching feelings of discomfort on a superficial level. Overall, the study found what seemed to me like common knowledge: mothers do most of the talking about sex with their daughters (Collins).

This is important to note for several reasons. The 2005 Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance Study (Center for Disease Control Prevention [CDC], 2006) found that 46.8% of high school students had sexual intercourse, 6% of which having sexual onset before the age of 13. Children who do not have a mother in their family sphere may also have gaps in information. This study also found that fostering father-daughter communication could lower the age of sexual onset (Collins).

When parents talk to their children about sex, they not only help to delay sexual onset and prevent pregnancy or STI transmission, but they also allows their child to feel comfortable talking about issues that may come up. The second study I read found that women are more likely to tell their parents if they had a sexual assault if they had positive messaging and frank discussions with their parents about sex. It has been estimated that one in six women will experience completed or attempted rape in their lifetime (Tjaden &Thoennes, 2006). High school and college women who have been raped are more likely to skip class or drop out of school (Smith).

Communication with parents before and after an assault can help a woman through the healing process that comes after an assault. A frank discussion between parents and their daughters around sex can teach the daughter what constitutes as sexual assault in acquaintance situations and is more serious than just a “bad date”, so the daughter sees an acquaintance rape as an act of violence. Support from family is also vital for women who have gone through a sexual assault, so parents being informed of their daughter’s situation can greatly ease the recovery process (Smith).

Like what is advocated in the anti-drug ads we see on television, talking to one’s children about sex can have very positive outcomes. Daughters talking comfortably with their fathers can increase the age of first intercourse and lower the risk of pregnancy or STI transmission through advocating condom use (Collins). Frank discussion can increase the daughter’s comfort in confronting her parents in the case of a sexual assault (Smith). Though sex is a “taboo” topic for many parents and their daughters, comfort in these discussions can help the daughter avoid or confront many issues that are all too common for today’s adolescents.

Bibliography, so you can check it out, too!
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (2006). Youth risk behavior surveillance- United States, 2005. Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report, 55(No. SS-5), 1-108.

Collins, C. L. , Angera, J. L., & Latty, C. R. (2008). College Aged Females' Perceptions of Their Fathers As Sexuality Educators. Journal of Ethnographic & Qualitative Research. 2, 81-90.

Smith, S. G., & Cook, S. L. (2008). Disclosing sexual assault to parents: The influence of parental messages about sex. Violence Against Women. 14, 1326-1348.

Tjaden, P. & Thoennes, N. (2006). Extent, nature, and consequences of rape victimization: Findings from the National Violence Against Women Survey. Washington, DC: National Institute of Justice.

Poll Results.

2009-01-09T16:57:00.009-05:00

Hey everyone!

I wanted to post the results of the last poll and announce the new one.

Who would you prefer to attend your child's birth: a midwive or an OB-GYN?

30% OB-GYN
23%- a midwife
23% didn't see a difference
23% thought that babies are gross
and we had no brave souls who imagined delivering at home.

As for myself, I was among the 23% that imagined a midwife at their imaginary birth. Most of the reasons come from reading Birth, but then again, I am on track to be an OB-GYN, not a midwife (though these things are still tentative). I want birthing to be reformed, be more personal, more mommy directed, still maintaining the health of the child. Midwives traditionally have held these morals, but I want the run-of-the-mill OB-GYN to, too.

I posted my new poll. I decided that they'll run Monday-Monday, so to get me on the "Monday schedule" I am making this one short (because I can't think about this for ten days, as well...) Here's the question (and the required reading is here):

What do you think of Paris Hilton's new abstinence message?

- I think it's great!
- Not perfect, but positive in general
- Abstinence is about health, not "purity" or "desirability"
- She is being sexist against women
- Why should we care what she says?

Please respond before Monday!

In <3 oxytocinitis <3
-Althea

Paris Hilton: A Spokewoman For An Unusual Cause

2009-01-09T12:38:00.004-05:00

This is pure, angry estrogen right here.

I've been reading up on some feminist blogs, and was shocked to see this on Amplify, which is a great network of blogs put out by Advocates For Youth. This is what Paris Hilton had to say:

“I’ve only ever done it with a couple of people. People make up stories, but mostly I just kiss. I think it’s important to play hard to get. Nobody wants the fake Prada bag - they want the brand new bag that no one can get and is the most expensive. If you give it up to a guy he won’t respect you. He’ll want you much more if he can’t have you.”

I am pretty sure the first time I had heard of Paris Hilton was her sex tape scandal, but that's okay: everyone has a right to clean up their act/image. I just think she could have had a much less demeaning way to put her message: one that was not of chastity, but of health (not to mention, with a metaphor that's not so consumer-based as a Prada bag...so not only can we feel "cheap" if we're sexually active, we can feel rejected because if don't have Prada bags! Oh please, it's just a thing you use to carry your wallet, your cell phone, and some chapstick).

This is not the first ridiculous metaphor for a "used" woman. As this study states,

"A peppermint patty is unwrapped and passed around the class. Once returned, the teacher asks if a student would like to eat it. The teacher is instructed to ask, “Why is this patty no longer appealing?” The answer they give is “No one wants food that has been passed around. Neither would you want your future husband or wife to have been passed around.”

Or how about these sexist messages students are getting that I found here:

"One of the classroom exercises recommended by Free Teens is one in which students spit into a cup, trade cups with another student, and then drink from that cup. Students are told that sex is more intimate than drinking someone else’s spit."

“Men sexually are like microwaves and women sexually are like crockpots…a woman is stimulated more by touch and romantic words. She is far more attracted by a man’s personality while a man is stimulated by sight. A man is usually less discriminating about those to whom he is physically attracted.”

“One thing that sex education and the media fail to communicate is the power of sex. Spies, who are trained not to give away government secrets, even lose their sensibilities and give in to the power of sex, often because of what a woman is wearing.”

"Nevada recently used some of its Title V abstinence-only-until-marriage funding to run two public service radio ads. One ad, written by the state’s abstinence-only coordinator, suggested that girls will feel “dirty and cheap” when they “lose” their boyfriends after having sex. The ads were eventually pulled by Nevada’s Health Division."

Perhaps the most telling example of "deflowering":

"Messages of shame are effectively dramatized in an exercise called “The Rose.” The teacher brings three roses to class and begins the exercise by explaining that all roses are “beautiful, unique, and valuable—just like the students are.” The teacher then begins peeling the petals off one rose and explains: “This rose illustrates a person who has chosen to be sexually active. When we are sexually active, we are giving ourselves—our body, our heart, our mind.” The students are instructed to pass the rose around the room and each pull off a few petals. They are told that “each petal symbolizes a sexual relationship.” After it is passed back, the curriculum tells teachers to “explain that 10 years have passed, and now this person wants to get married. What does this person feel that he/she has left to give?”

The teacher then presents the second rose which has all of its petals intact and tells students that this flower represents someone who has chosen to be abstinent until marriage. Students are told to imagine that it is 10 years later and this person wants to get married. “What does this person have left to give? Abstinence is about saving and preserving who you are and what you have.”

The exercise then continues with one more rose that is missing just a few of its petals. “This person says, ‘I’m not feeling very good about myself, and I don’t have to keep doing this. It doesn’t matter what I’ve done in the past, I’m going to stop and save myself for marriage. Although one or two petals are gone, the rose is still beautiful, and so am I, even though I’ve already been sexually active.’ ” To conclude the rose exercise, the three roses are held up and students are told: “The choice is yours to make. Which rose would you like to be?” (Game Plan, Coach’s Clipboard, p. 12)"

I'm not knocking abstinence. Arguing that abstinence is the only 100% effective method on preventing pregnancy and STI transmission is ABSOLUTELY acceptable, and should be practiced in all classrooms. However, that message should not have the sexist tone it does in the previous examples, and it should not be the only thing taught. Pregnancy prevention is something most women (but I understand not all) have to deal with in their lives, so they might as well learn what they need to in high school, in case they already need it or even if they don't plan on using it until after marriage. Pregnancy prevention skills just belong in our toolboxes, with how to do your taxes and how to jump a car. Some teens have to deal with that right away, others don't for a while. It's good emergency knowledge in any case.

In estrogen,
Althea

PS: czech this out, and the brother site here. That's what I hear when I see religious right abstinence arguments.

Of Ice Storms, Names, Book Writing and Homes

2009-01-06T20:19:00.003-05:00

The water bottles are filled.

I am finishing all of the house's laundry.

We cleaned out the ashes from before and started a fire.

All of the cell phones, laptops, and other electronics are charging right now, on power strips we can turn off if necessary.

That's right: New England is expecting another ice storm tonight, but I was still pointing out debris to my guests yesterday. This may just be a lot of talk, you can never tell with things like weather...there are way too many variables. Plus, now that National Grid has fixed all of the power lines around here, will they be as susceptible? We'll just have to wait and see.

We'll just have to wait and see.

I respond to my new name quite well now. That's a big step. My social security card is in and corrected, and my driver's license is en route. I have to change the Tulane stuff at school apparently, so that transition might take a while still. I had to correct myself at the pharmacy today because my medical information is still under "Alyson" and I wanted to say "Althea". I am very happy I changed my name:-)

I started a book this week: writing one, that is. I don't really want to talk too much about because everything's still abstract, but I like where it's heading so far. When I get further in I'll give you the plot line, but right now it's about a girl growing up and leaving her parents' house (not to mention her childhood), told from a unique perspective.

Also had a nice ski trip with some friends from Tulane. It was cool to hang out with New Orleans friends in a much more frigid environment, doing something we never get to do down south. I hope we can make this a tradition for winter break.

Speaking of winter break, it's going to be over in about five days, which is a little crazy for me. This month seemed endless at the beginning, now it's almost over. I'll have to start packing and pulling things together tomorrow if we have a snow/ice day.

Living in different parts of the country has its unique challenges and benefits, but I can't say any state is universally better than the others on everything, it's just a matter of what's important to the parties in question and their needs. I keep trying to find the "perfect" place to live, but that's not going to happen- it's just a matter of what's tolerable and awesome for me. New Orleans is winning right now, but if you had asked me two months ago, it'd be Boston by a long shot. I get homesick for both places quite frequently- and I probably will get homesick for those places for the rest of my life. Boston has all of my young memories and a lot of fun things to do and like-minded people, but New Orleans isn't a city anyone can forget overnight. It's very unique and there's an energy I feel whenever I'm in the city that cannot be mimicked no matter where I go.

Prediction: The tag "home" will come up a lot this year.

<3 Althea

Meet <3 oxytocinitis <3

2009-01-02T01:32:00.007-05:00

Ladies and gentlemen of the *estrogenet* community:

Meet oxytocinitis. As a part of my new year initiative to make my blogging broader and more inclusive, I have added another hormone into the mix, but one that I write about almost as much (if not more than) estrogen: oxytocin.

Oxytocin is a fascinating hormone. It's the one that's released when we cuddle with people we're attracted to as a bonding hormone, and it is the hormone of monogamy. It makes us trust people. It is released when a woman is in labor, and again when a baby cries for the first time, and is one of the hormones that helps women lactate (Read this book to fall in love with this hormone). It's what is released from our brains when we orgasm, helps reduce pain, and makes us smile. It is literally natural ecstacy. I think we all could use a lil' more oxytocin in our lives, to boost our trust and bonding. I hereby coin oxytocinitis as the longing for the release of oxytocin, or the utter joy that comes from an oxytocin rush. It's like cuddling with that cute person that you've been wanting to be with good, orgasm good, or the feeling that you trust someone with your life good. It's a fantastic ailment to have!

This wonderful hormone definitely deserves a spot in the title of my blog. I'll keep the URL at estrogenet.blogspot.com for simplicity's sake, but the title is now officially *estrogenet* & <3 oxytocinitis <3 :Tales of my two favorite hormones and stories of growing as a feminist college student in New Orleans.

Be sure to check out my awesome poll on the sidelines. It has to do with Birth.

<3 Althea

PS- hope you like the new colors, too!

Book Reviews and Babies

2009-01-01T21:44:00.006-05:00

I used some of my Barnes and Noble gift card money this year on Birth: The Surprising History of How We Are Born. It was the kind of non-fiction book I thrive on- fascinating, you can't put it down, and it changes your interests overnight. The last time I truly felt this way about a book like this was ages ago, when I read Joan Jacobs Brumberg's The Body Project (I later had the privilege of studying under her at Cornell's summer program for high school students, which was an honor, to say the least), so it felt really great to be that passionate again about a non-fiction book.

Birth exposed me to some concepts Brumberg had shown me in her class about the historical dichotomy between midwives and obstetricians in the birthing room. What struck me the most was how hospital births have historically been more dangerous than home births, and how restrictive birthing rooms have been. Every page had a new piece of information that either shocked or touched me- every page got emotional. I would call people late at night to say things like, "did you know that they would try to do ceseareans even before we had anesthesia because the Catholic church wanted to baptize the baby before it died, even if it meant the mother would almost certainly die?", to explain the beauties of oxytocin, or to explain how people used to induce labor (or at least attempt...). Perhaps the worst side effect of reading this book to the people around me was the most amazing to me: asking my mother hundreds of questions about my own birth and how it differed from my brother's and sister's just five and six years before.

This book was highly informative for me because I have been trying to decide if I am heading to nursing or med school after I finish my undergrad (or MPH...I'm still very flexible). It gave me insight that I would rather be a midwife, but I also think that doctors should be informed on more natural birthing procedures as they seem to be safer. Women and their doctors need to be informed on all of the aspects of birth so they can make decisions together on what happens in the birthing room. I would recommend this book to any woman who has had a baby/wants to have a baby, or any person interested in the medical field. It is very eye-opening and if I ever decide to reproduce (which will be a long way down the line), I plan on reading this book again before I write my birth plan.

I can't wait until my next book that I refuse to put down:-)

<3 Althea

New Year Reflections

2009-01-01T13:37:00.001-05:00

The snow that drastically changed my new year's plans yesterday essentially sums up my 2008. How appropriate.

I'm not saying this to be whiny, it's just things that I've planned haven't exactly worked out, but then another situation of beauty comes in- like getting to eat peanut butter and nutella and trying to convince my parents that the snow shovel fairy visited, in the case of yesterday. I want to take some time today to look at this blog and examine where it's been and where it's heading.

Last year in *estrogenet*: a list of questions and my comments now

January:
Who cares if a woman is president? (didn't matter in the end, I guess)
How is poverty represented in a farmer's market? (still fires me up, a year later)
Anti-depressants: why, America, why? (foreshadowing)

February:
Why are 2008 high school women sexist against themselves? (a theme last year, unfortunately)
Why so few women in jazz? (foundations of my senior project right there)

March-April: I was incognito.

May:
Why did I put myself through that? (foreshadowing to further problems)
Tramp-stamps: why do we call body art such offensive names? (this was before my first tat- and now i'm considering a lower back tattoo as my second)
How do fathers effect a woman's ability to become a musician? (Thank God Dad's supportive!)

June (wins the prize for the most entries!):
Why aren't people fired up about abortion? (see: something i will be probably debating about for the rest of my life).
How does government affect a woman's ability to be a musician? (more ways than you'd think)
Why should we care about women in music? (still a gender gap!)
What am I doing here????? (a look at *estrogenet*)
Why does a magazine like Cosmo that claims to be feminist just restrict us more? (tell me something I don't know)
Why are teens TRYING to get pregnant? (Pregnancy Pacts are scary as all hell...)
Why are pharmacies banning birth control? (What's wrong with America?)
Why hasn't the REAL act passed yet? (Responsible Education About Life=real sex ed).
Why can't a woman use the word "rape" in her rape trial? (speaking of sexism...)
Why is Fitchburg so racist? (in respect to teen pregnancy)

July
How am I going to transition to college? (answer: rather haphazzardly)
Is tight the new thin? (yay vaginae!)
Why is the UNFPA so important? (Yay for the House approving $600 billion to international family planning)
Drug companies getting involved in female orgasms? (a Pfizer study)
Why isn't Gardasil getting to who needs it the most? (hopefully, this problem won't be too long term)
Why are hate crimes still an issue?? (I hope this won't be an issue I have to bring up this year)

August
Why, with the rising rates of HIV, are people still against sex ed? (it's all politics!)
Why do I love Fitchburg? (That entry was cute...)
How am I documenting my leave? (see: www.fitchburgexodus.blogspot.com)
How will I evacuate for Gustav? (in what felt like a five star resort)

September
What happened to the first amendment? (remember the RNC protestors?)
Why can't we access birth control in the US? (i think i've brought this up like ten times in the past year)
Why does Eve Ensler kick so much ass? (she really does...)
Why not add poetry? (a freeform poem)

October:
Where am I heading in life? (the theme for the next four years I think)
The terms ho and hockey mom: what do they imply? (don't get me started)
WHY ARE WE SO DAMN APATHETIC?! (once again, don't get me started)
Why was I so damn confused? (I took me wanting another man as "my boyfriend kicks ass"...someone was trying to save something that wasn't there anymore)
Why can we take off our clothes in front of our own gender but not others? (old fashioned mindsets!)
What are the top ten ways to love yourself? (and why do I love myself...)
Why do we get such shame around sex? (don't get me started)
Why wasn't I freaked out about sexual assaults on campus? (though now that's really scary to me)
How important is a bed of one's own? (I hope to God I'm never homeless again).

November:
Why does Take Back the Night feel so good? (I wrote a paper on this later, wish I had remembered this blog entry!)
What should I do next semester? (a plan that I, of course, abandoned!)
Why do we label each other? (labels belong on soup cans!)
What causes would I die for? (with cool videos!)
How do I feel about Daschle as Secretary of Health and Human Services? (and the jury is STILL out!)
How did I feel about Sperm Wars? (READ IT!)
What is up with labeling sexual orientations? (seriously...)

December:
Why is the journey all of the fun? (with movies!)
Why are sizes so geared towards the large? (magnum XLs and Starbucks Ventis)
How do I define feminism now, a year later? (a poetical analysis)
Why I appreciate a warm house this year? (oh ice storm...)
Cool activism: Send soup cans to the AFA! (Yay for Campbell's!)
What's in a name or a hometown loyalty? (the theme of my trip to MA so far).

Unfortunately, a lot of the questions I examined seem to be ones that I will have to deal with for a very long time, but that's all part of blogging. The world can't change with a new year, a new outlook, and no, not even with a new president, overnight, but it takes progress, talking about issues, and positive attitudes. Though this year was pretty hard on me, I'm hoping over the next months to fit these blogger New Years Resolutions.

Nine Goals for 2009

- To write more: I want entries 3-4 times a week, maybe under a more regular schedule.
- To write more currently: to keep up with current events and to reflect on the world around me more
- To write more about myself: personal stories not only help me connect with myself, but can provide a background on why you (the readers) should care about issues that matter to me.
- To stay true to my feminist values: and also help develop what feminists are doing in 2009
- To do more book/movie reviews: yes, this will require more reading, but I also feel better when I do them
- To broaden my topics: feminism is important, but so is a lot else to me. I found myself in 2008 not writing about things that were important to me because they didn't involve feminism, and that's not really true to myself.
- To plan things in advance: I have so many papers/research saved up "for the right occasion" to post, but never feel any reason to publish them. If I had a more balanced schedule, I could get these things out.
- To keep my reader in mind: so *estrogenet* doesn't feel like a soapbox so much as a conversation.
- To not merely complain, but to congratulate: negative energy runs rampant in my mind, sometimes, I need to lighten up and smile, and express this in my entries:-)

Happy new year, *estrogenet*.

<3 althea
^legally now!

Hometown Loyalty and What's In a Name

2008-12-27T22:17:00.004-05:00

I've been exploring the concept of home lately, since as you guys know, I'm kind of between homes. I am very much a "Boston girl" in loyalties and spirit (and my NOLA friends claim in accent), but find myself homesick for New Orleans whenever I'm here. I love both cities, but can never choose between them. It feels like I'm lying whenever I chose one city over the other.

I came face to face with these loyalty conflicts today at a hockey game. It was the Providence Bruins vs. the Lowell Devils. One part of me said, "okay girl, you're from Fitchburg, and spent so much time at UMass Lowell when you were still living around here. You love Lowell- it's gotta be the Devils" but the other part of me was like, "this isn't Lowell vs. Providence, this is the future of the Boston Bruins vs. New Jersey Devils", which made me want to root for the Providence team, even though I used to figure skate on the very ice that was considered home for the Devils. Though I consider myself more from Lowell than Boston, I consider myself from Boston FAR MORE than I will EVER be from New Jersey (no offense, Jersey, you're just not for me). My little cousin doesn't even go by hometown, he was born in the Boston area, moved to Seattle a few years ago, and roots for both the Tampa Bay Lightning and the Devil Rays, though he has no family from that area. Who knows...

I think these hometown problems will be ones I'll face as long as I'm transient in location. I love New Orleans, but i don't know if it's forever, and I love Massachusetts, but I don't know if I'll end up here either. I think once I have a family and decide to settle down, I'll know, but i don't even know if that'll ever happen- I like going where I feel needed- but I feel so empty when I feel homelessness.

This is a problem I think I'll struggle with for at least the next three and a half years, let alone the rest of my life.

I am also going through a legal name change this week, which is something I can't remember not wanting (though I didn't always have the same new name I wanted). My legal first name is Alyson, which I cannot stand (even as I started to type that, muscle memory started to put "may" instead of "son"). I remember trying to get my elementary school teachers to call me Alymay instead of Alyson, and correcting family frequently. I decided a little while ago that "Alymay", though cute, is not the best formal name, and I wanted to keep May as my middle name even when I do go by it. So, my new first and middle names on Monday (hopefully) will be Althea May, like my facebook has been for several months now. I will still go by Alymay with close friends and family, but I will develop my first professional relationships under my new name. Though I know "a rose by any other name would smell as sweet", I would rather call a rose a rose than a pile of shit, and I have always hated the name Alyson. It's very important to me, plus it's my Christmas present from my parents! Hopefully resolving these hometown matters and finally changing my name will help with the identity problems most Freshmen in college face.

<3 Althea May

Send Soup Cans to the AFA!

2008-12-22T17:21:00.005-05:00

Hey there, estrogenet!

In my fifth grade year, I was a vice president of the Campbell's Collection Company, our fifth grade teacher's way of teaching us how to write speeches, do basic math, while promoting and incorporating the Campbell's Labels for Education program, which could earn the school many important supplies simply by collecting soup labels- hundreds of thousands every year. We each represented a class in the school, and had jobs that we had to apply for, from bundlers, to storekeepers, to vice president (which meant you got to edit everyone's speeches from your grade level), and were paid in "Soupies", our currency, depending on our position. This was a great way to not only to teach us math and english, but also taught us how a business functions on the surface level.

I am not writing to you all today to tell you about how awesome fifth grade was, because I could go on for days. I am writing to tell you that my love of Campbell's goes on to their political fronts in my adult years. I read this article on Amplify, Advocates for Youth's blogging site. I was very happy that Campbell's was advertising in the Advocate, but was sad to learned that they had backlash from this from the American Family Association (their warning to followers is found here). What's their problem? A lesbian and her partner like making soup for their son. Big deal!

As Joe suggests on Amplify, we should send soup here:
American Family Association
P. O. Drawer 2440
Tupelo, MS 38803

And I know is my Campbell's shirt will be worn more often:-)

<3

(Picture stolen from the Campbell's website)

Warm House, Warm Heart

2008-12-18T17:35:00.003-05:00

Coming home to a warm, comfortable, large house with power (and internet!) and lights, and heat, food in the fridge, family around, has never made me feel more like an extremely priveledged princess.

In case you aren't from around Fitchburg, we've had one of the worst ice storms in history. This is day seven of some being without power, heat, food, and other needs. I got power last night, and internet today, but I've spent the day in Fitchburg. The physical debris were insane- I saw houses I couldn't see before, powerlines STILL on the ground on major roads by our standards (like Route 31), and beautiful trees destroyed by this storm. The physical damage was only the START to what my people here are going through.

Though the students haven't returned to charter yet, it felt nice to have the staff all together to hear each others' stories, do a little self-inventory, and then check in with our students (to their houses, if necessary), and figure out what our needs as a community are. Then, a group of us ended up heading to the shelter to clean beds, clean the kitchen, and organize food in the pantry. It felt really great to be out and doing something real to help with this overwhelming storm. Shelters are very stressful, but it felt good to make someone else more comfortable. Six or seven people have said to me, "it really makes me evaluate what we value."

I could do disaster relief for the rest of my life.

<3
Althea

My Personal Declaration as a Feminist, 2.0

2008-12-14T22:04:00.006-05:00

Exactly a year ago to the day, I posted my "declaration as a feminist" here, and seeing so much has changed to the point where I hardly recognize myself from back then at all (I even have a different name!), I figured I'd write a new one, updated to meet my current standards. I'm doing this kind of free-formy and through automatic, first-thought writing, which is an update on my writer's voice as well. This year, it's about balancing my very feminine nature with the traditional stereotypes of feminists.

Declaration of a Feminist, 2.0

I love the color pink.
I am a woman.
I see these as two very separate things.
When we are born, we are assigned a blue blanket or a pink one
Told to love a color from the stuff we are surrounded by
My love for pink has nothing to do with the fact that I am a woman.
I love the color pink because it is bold
Our Bodies, Ourselves sits on my shelf
It is bold, pink, it stands out among all of the books
So is the pink deady bear tattoo on my back
Pink, because I love flowers
And it happens to be one of Newfoundland's traditional colors
Pink, because it fills my heart with joy.
I feel I would love the color pink whether I was born with or without my vagina.

I see my feminism this same way
I act "girlie" or "feminine" when it feels natural
But swear like a sailor, scream at the baseball on my TV when it isn't going my way, and play fight my friends when I want
I do what feels right

I see our narrow definition of feminism sometimes restricting my spirit more
I can't do certain things because they're traditionally female, those things are "oppressive" to women
So what if I dream of being a nurse and dream of having babies?
That's not my gender speaking, that's my spirit

Morally, I get confused with feminism, and I struggle with myself feeling like a hypocrite
But isn't feminism all about getting equal rights and respect to do whatever we want with our lives?
Or do we have to stay in the lines
"Save feminism for the lesbian bra-burners, reject it if you like traditional women's roles"
And what do we do if we fall in the middle, or see ourselves as both?
We love women and believe in using our lives to obtain equality while dreaming of being a "great wife and mother?"
Where do women like me fit into feminism?

I wear sweats and act like a human being all of the time around my boyfriend obviously
I don't do anything just to impress him- I live as I am
But I find myself wearing makeup before a major performance or for formal events
Not to impress anyone, to step it up and get on my "A" game?
Isn't that what feminism should be all about?
Living as we are, doing what we want for our best experiences?
Don't tell me "no" for my gender, let me love men or women or both and let me live as I want
My vagina is not my brain, and neither is your penis- let me be a doctor, or a lawyer, or a rocket scientist, or none of the above
I can do anything I want, even if it's nursing when I have the grades, will-power, and academic reputation to be a doctor just because I want more time at the patient's bedside
Let me play trombone even if it's a "man's instrument"
Let me run your organization, let me change the world
Let me live as I want
Let me live in a world where feminism is irrelevant because we don't need it anymore: where men and women answer to their callings not because they are one gender or the other, but because they live in a place where men can be secretaries and nurses and women can be engineers and brain surgeons in the same way that we can have spaghetti or corned beef and cabbage for dinner
Nothing worth a conversation at all, just a matter of preference that day.
When can we stop talking about it?

<3 Althea

Starbucks Has Talls-Grandes-Ventis, Trojan Has "Normal"-Magnum-Magnum XL

2008-12-14T02:01:00.007-05:00

Sorry it's been a while, guys, I've been busy with finals, New Orleansy things, et cetera, and seeing I can't sleep and it's 1:01 AM, I figured it was a good time to check in with y'all and to see how everyone is.

My hometown of Townsend, MA, right next to the city I consider "my own", Fitchburg (okay, with an Ashby or a Lunenburg in the way), apparently is in a state of emergency. They haven't had power for several days now and the national guard is "all over the place" according to my best friend. It's pretty insane to think that I might not have power when I get back to MA next Tuesday. Fitchburg State already canceled finals for next Monday, according to an email I received from them earlier today.

My major has shifted once more to a double major in women's studies/public health. I decided I should study what I want to learn more about and take the whole "careers" or even grad school plans as they come. I'll cover the premeds just to make sure I'm taken care of, but I'd rather deal with education, prevention, or health infrastructure. I'll land on my feet eventually. I also like looking for sexual overtones in media and looking into that, so i am very up in the air.

My parents sent me mint brownies for my birthday:-) Trojan also sent me 500 Magnums to distribute (condoms, not the gun, silly!) from the Great American Condom Campaign, so drop by my room, NOLA peeps, I have a basket outside. I was happy they sent them, but I think it's funny they only sent magnums. I know some guys legit have a big penis and need magnums in order to be remotely comfortable, but maybe magnum condoms are just slightly larger normal and it's psychological- guys like it better if they think their penis is big, so they don't feel as...um...stifled in a condom that's not that that much bigger.

I think trojan's aware of this- maybe they're buying into it or even encouraging it? I mean, having three sizes- normal (Trojan ENZ), large (Magnum), and extra-large (Magnum XL) seems like how a small at Starbucks is called "Tall", they all sound normal or big. Lifestyles does make "snug fit", but even though I have those in my condom distribution basket, nobody's ever taken one (my clinic gave me some before I left for college- a big bag full of those, which is probably what the government gave them). The only time I've ever used/heard of someone using one of the "snug fits" was to give a condom demo. What kind of an "insult" in modern culture would it be for a girl to pull out one of those, even if a guy knew he was on the "smaller side"? The bigger issue is why do we care so much about penis size? is it pride, hope of better pleasure? To prove one's manhood? Let me know what you think.

I think that's enough ramblings for early early on a Sunday.

Love,
Althea

Along for the Ride?

2008-12-06T21:28:00.004-05:00

I love this song.

It got stuck in my head earlier when I was thinking about my potential plans, like what I am doing in college, what I want to do with my life, et cetera, and now I've heard it a bunch of times over (on the version saved on my computer, not the version in the video), I am starting to feel calm, like there's some sort of hope for me.

I (re?)-discovered over the course of the past few weeks that I really want to be a nurse. Unfortunately, Tulane does not have such a program, so I was faced with an important dilemma: what do you do when you are borderline obsessed with your college but it doesn't have the course of study you want in life? I decided my answer today: I'm going to stay here and study whatever I won't have time for in the future. I've always been one to think that not all who wander are lost, and I am the kind of girl that thinks of the way she wants to go to class as what scenery I want to see that day rather than the quickest, easiest route. When I take wrong turns when I'm driving, I don't swear (unless I'm late for school or work) or get upset, I just say "time for new sights!" and I always manage to find my way home in the end.

"getting there is half the fun, compare it with me"

<3Althea

"You Have Bisexual Tendencies"

2008-11-29T23:20:00.004-05:00

"You have bisexual tendencies.

You probably are already well aware of the fact that you have some bisexual tendencies. You're attracted to the same sex, and you'd have no problem getting experimental if the opportunity arose. However, you aren't incredibly over the top. More than likely, if you were going to get a little risque with someone of the same sex, it would be when you're inhibitions are down. You have an open mind, and you have no problem admitting that you'd like to see what's on the other side... at least one time in your life."

As part of my typical insomnia, I took some quizzes online to get myself sleepy, because, let's face it, they're boring. Plan backfired! I found one called "Are You Bi?" that really made me wonder how the pop-culture view of bisexuality has grown, and whether it is really natural. Through reading Sperm Wars and through my own personal experiences, I felt labeling sexual orientation is kind of restricting almost of natural tendencies. For instance, if a man tells himself and everyone he's straight, he might miss out on some fantastic gay experiences, and vice-versa if he's gay. Some bisexuals feel a stereotype they are expected to live unto (you don't need this link to know what I'm talking about, like sexually promiscuous or just gay and in the closet, or a girl looking for attention? PLEASE!). I spent far too long contemplating my sexual orientation that I lost track of myself in the process. I guess I'm bi by default as a woman who isn't sure, but I don't feel bisexual, or lesbian, or straight for that matter. "Bi by default" is kind of how I see people, and "sexual orientation" comes down to who you find yourself more sexually attracted to, if there even is a difference (kind of like how some guys are "ass-men" or "tits-men" and others can't choose, if we're going for that approach). Maybe I'm just supposed to be the Q in LGBTQ (lesbian gay bisexual transgender/transsexual questioning) for life. Basically, what I'm trying to say is that as a Gender/Sexuality Studies major, I'm still trying to figure out the whole sexual orientation in general thing, but I know you're not finding it from taking a quiz online.

Check out the quiz on the link up there if you're curious.

<3may-b

PS- I just re-read my "results". "Over the top"? What do they mean by that? Is that a little homophobia in the anti-homophobia quiz?

Sperm Wars Book Review

2008-11-28T00:52:00.003-05:00

Hey guys, happy morning after Thanksgiving!! I love how I fly for four hours so I can be with my family to eat a ton of food and appreciate the world. It feels great- I love being around family at the holidays. And Fitchburg isn't too shabby, either!

A dear friend let me borrow Robin Baker's Sperm Wars several weeks (months) ago, and I finally got a chance to finish it through a recent bus trip to Houston, and my latest plane rides/insomnia bouts. Remind me to start reading again like I did when I was younger...

Anyways- Sperm Wars. It was a good read, quite enjoyable, and very enlightening. It used soap-opera style scenes to demonstrate a point before breaking it down with a scientific analysis. According to the preface, most of the "sciencey" part, like the citations and stuff, come from his 1995 book, Human Sperm Competition: Copulation Masturbation and Infidelity. I am definitely curious to read that book and see some of the "hard facts" around the claims in this, according to the back, "Popular Science" novel.

Many of the points I found to be very interesting. I thought it was interesting that men have different ratios of types of sperm that run in cycles, depending on frequency of ejaculation and other factors. I thought it was interesting that sometimes bisexuality can lead to a better reproductive life. Did you know that oral sex is just a taste test for infection and infidelity? Cool stuff, yo. I do worry that some readers might take the messages of infidelity a little far, because the book did suggest that some types infidelity can be beneficial reproductively (assuming you don't get caught), but that's just my personal morals getting in the way. This book is definitely worth a read.

SIDENOTE: World AIDS Day is in a few days. NOLA people, Tulane VOX is having a panel about sex ed in Louisiana called Sexpositions at six PM in McAlister Auditorium. If you live elsewhere, see if you can find an event near you!

Daschle to Be Secretary of Health and Human Services

2008-11-19T15:58:00.005-05:00

Hey everyone,

I just got my friendly little email from NYTimes.com letting me know that Tom Daschle, former senator from South Dakota, has been nominated by Barack Obama for the Secretary of Health and Human Services position. As you can imagine, I find this to be one of the most important positions in our cabinet.

So where does Daschle stand on issues I care about? I got my information from ontheissues.org, a handy little website. Unfortunately, he's been out of senate recently, so I'm curious to see what he'd say now.

- NARAL Pro Choice rates him "50%", or mixed, on issues of abortion. Voted to ban partial birth abortion, and put forth a compromise bill of which NOW denounced.
- Mixed history also on issues of civil rights- rated at 60% by the ACLU. Bad highlights include voting no to include sexual orientation to the list of hate crimes (which as a cast member of a recent production of The Laramie Project, deeply upset me, but at another point he had voted yes so I'd like to know where he stands today) and voting yes on DOMA- the Defense of Marriage Act (prohibiting same-sex marriage).
- Voted "NO" on allocating $75 million to abstinence only education: positive.
- Rated 63% by the LCV, indicating a mixed record on environment. (Dec 2003)
- The Christian Coalition gave him an "anti-family" voting record, which in my case, is probably a good thing.
-Rated 88% by The American Public Health Association, APHA, indicating a pro-public health record. (Dec 2003)

Too soon to tell I guess...I'm really curious about this one.

Looking For A Cause I Would Die For

2008-11-18T19:29:00.005-05:00

I am currently, too, looking for a cause I would die for. I am starting to admire Marty McConnell and her voice. I keep looking up her videos and feeling connected to them. I've been writing, too, not here as much as I'd like, but for myself. Last night, my friend and I just sat in bed together writing our own things, not sharing a word we wrote, but enjoying each other's company silently and expanding our minds ourselves. It was one of my favorite moments of this semester yet- and one that I hope will be repeated.

Lately, I feel better, emotionally, physically, mentally. I am expanding, much like a balloon, getting ready to bloom, and getting ready to fight. Because as long as poems like this are still relevant...

...you can bet I'll be kicking ass and taking names.

<3

Do I Look Like a Soup Can? Then Quit Labeling Me!

2008-11-14T01:50:00.004-05:00

Cleaning my folders on my desktop, I found this entry, dated October 29th, and though lots have happened in those 2+ week, I stand by it.

Too many times in my life, people have used labels to control me. Labels come with meaning, and I know this is one of my big obsessions right now for those of you who know me “irl” (in real life for those of you not hip to cyber-talk), but I strongly feel like when we put words on things, they create meanings, and once those meanings are formed, assumptions about the quality or type of whatever that meaning is cannot be changed. It is all part of the communication theories I sought to understand at Fitchburg that I now finally get.

When people label me as “disabled” or a rape “victim” or tell me I have “battered wives’ syndrome” or tell me that I “suffer from PTSD”, I get a whole new outlook on the situation. Things I didn’t feel before come up like weeds in a garden and start to take over. I feel like an animal, caged up, tagged and labeled. This is why I don’t go to therapy anymore. I constantly felt under a microscope, like I was a difficult math problem my therapists and psychiatrists were trying to figure out. I have never felt so dehumanized in my entire life. My flashbacks aren't me, they're something that happen to me that I am learning to avoid/deal with.

I’ve been on a journey- we all are- and it’s been rough but I’m ready to start things over and feel better. Just remember this Ginsberg excerpt from the Sunflower Sutra (reading this should be a pre-requisite for being friends with me- I live it).

We're not our skin of grime, we're not our dread
bleak dusty imageless locomotive, we're all
beautiful golden sunflowers inside, we're blessed
by our own seed & golden hairy naked
accomplishment-bodies growing into mad black
formal sunflowers in the sunset, spied on by our
eyes under the shadow of the mad locomotive
riverbank sunset Frisco hilly tincan evening
sitdown vision.

Shine on, golden sunflowers.

<3 all around<3

-Althea May

Let me talk myself through this

2008-11-12T02:20:00.003-05:00

It's hard for me to imagine what feminism in the 21st century really should be about, and I think that's the key to my "WHAT THE HELL IS MY MAJOR!!" crisis. Legally, we're almost there, still a few kinks to be worked out, but I'm confident that in the next 20 years, we'll be making equal pay, and not 77 cents for the male dollar we currently make. Barack Obama's election only makes me optimistic that some acts that protect the working rights of women, especially since equal pay helps men and women alike. And he said he wants to overturn the Global Gag Rule, which obviously pleases me:-) That rule was written by close-minded people who didn't understand the issues at hand, it's gotta go.

International Development- that's something else that'll be VERY important in the next 100+ years.

Oh my Goodness- I answered my own question.

Women's studies/international development undergrad, MPH in International Health and Development- that's my course of action!

Sorry this is sporadic, I just needed to sort my thoughts out.

Next semester I want to take:
- Intro to women's studies
- Intro to microeconomics
- writing
- intro to development
- Russian II
- Gender and disaster

With marching band, that'd put me at 21 credits. Yes I know, that's probably too much, but I'm really going to push for it. Plus, the way I mapped it out, I would have all afternoons off (except Wednesday) and only one class in the middle of the day Fridays. That's not so bad! I'd have earlier starts but that would get me to sleep more, and not be, I don't know, blogging at 230 in the morning. The obvious thing to drop from an academic standpoint would be gender and disaster...but that sounds so interesting!! I'd probably take econ next year if I had to drop something, but it's a prereq for a lot of cool development classes.

We'll see where this lands me, but something feels like it clicked.

<3may

Take Back the Night

2008-11-06T03:44:00.005-05:00

You can read about my personal updates on Fitchburg Exodus, but I want to talk about a great event on college campuses all across the country.

Tulane and Loyola paired up for Take Back the Night per usual this year. The organizers said it was the biggest turn out post-Katrina. First, we heard a few speakers, and then we did the march, and even with a few hundred people, marching down frat row chanting about sexual assault isn't exactly comfortable, and then we went back to the speak out session. There was a lot of loving and sharing going around, and it made me feel safe.

It's hard to say I love Take Back the Nights, but I really do. It's sad, I cry a lot, and I sometimes even get the courage to speak up and tell my story to people, but I think seeing the large group of people who took time out of their Wednesday nights to come to an event about an issue was powerful. The cool thing me and a couple of other people noticed was the amount of men at the event this year, which seemed to be much higher than in years past. It felt great to have a mixed gender group that we could talk and discuss with about issues of great importance.

One in four college women may seem like a scary statistic, but try hearing story, after story, after story, while your own echoes in your heart. I wasn't planning on speaking this year, but I felt it in my heart that I should, so I turned to my friend and said "I think I'm gonna share" and she gave me that encouragement push I needed. It was hard because I'm usually a fairly good speaker and used to speaking in front of large groups, but I froze and stuttered a lot. After though, when I saw a big group of college students (of whom I maybe knew five or six?) who were ready to support me, I felt so liberated- free.

Don't try and tear me down- because I'm strong and I'm back.

<3may

A Bed Of One's Own

2008-10-28T13:28:00.004-04:00

Anyone who knows me well knows that I love Virginia Woolf's feminist work A Room of One's Own. For the first time since I've been here, I feel like I don't have a room, and my mental health, grades, and lifestyle have been degraded. Though housing promised me somewhere a new home today, I feel like I am flying by the proverbial seat of my pants.

it's crazy how a bed of one's own impacts their life. I feel so lost all of the time because I never know where I'm sleeping next (at least I always know where my next meal is coming from- yay for carte blanche dining!) I also should know by the end of the day where my permanent residence will be, and that's a nail biting thing as well. This week has been nuts! I also don't ever feel like writing, but when I posted a longer comment on my e-friend Unicow's blog Progressive Fitchburg, I decided to beef this entry up a little bit. Not feeling like writing should be a " 'nuff said" for anyone who knows my passion for writing.

I need to decide if I want to take a single in a less social or a double in a more social dorm. Half of me feels like I need to be in a social place, but half of me knows I need support in dealing with the things going on with me.

Hopefully, I will be in my permanent residence (and by permanent I mean for my freshman year) by the next time you hear from me.

<3always,

May-B

Abuse

2008-10-26T00:18:00.006-04:00

I know, I know, it's been a while. This week has been filled with doctor's appointments, packing, schoolwork, among other social dramas. I am anxious to be back to the blogosphere.

There has been a string of sexual assaults off campus this week which has caught me on edge. Since a lot of my friends know about my history, I have been asked so many times whether or not I'm okay, and whether I'm scared and even whether I wanted to transfer. The thing with me is that I am more terrified of acquaintance (or partner) assaults. When it's someone you don't know, you will never know their back story and what their issue is. Though no one EVER has any right to assault someone in any way shape or form, it feels so much less scary than someone you trusted (or maybe even loved) committing an act of domestic violence on you.

When it's someone that is your friend or boyfriend, that's someone you've trusted. You opened your life up to them- and then they hurt you, physically, emotionally, sexually, they abuse you. That also ties in a feeling of abandonment- your needs no longer are this person's life and soul, but they betrayed you. And you may want to believe that they still love you, and many still do, but is it love?

Maybe my opinion would be different if I had been assaulted by a complete stranger, I don't know. I hope I never have that experience to compare. What I do know is that sexual assault is not right and though this seems like basic knowledge, it's so common. Think 1/4 college women.

That's all I have to say about that.

"La La La- Shame On You"

2008-10-15T15:43:00.003-04:00

This entry's a little more touchy than usual.

Continuing on the shame theme from my post on the 13th, I want to talk a little more about my experiences with a different type of shame. Though I am proud of my body and very satisfied with it for pretty much the first time in my life, I am not proud of some of the experiences that my body has been through- that people have taken advantage of it. I know I can’t blame myself for the situations where I have been assaulted or raped by people I thought loved me- that was their bad call. But still, a great deal of shame comes over me. Every time I tell someone why I have PTSD, my voice gets quiet, I look down, and I feel ashamed of myself. I feel like I am just coming out of the silence of domestic violence (because writing about it in my blog is just about as public as it gets), but why did the silence last so long? If I had been in a war camp or my family had some disaster, I probably would be a lot more comfortable because no one would place any blame on me. The problem with the modern take on sexual assault is more ‘societal’ blame is placed on the survivor, and it makes it a lot harder for survivors to forgive themselves.

Shame is something I struggle with every day. Though I know my parents obviously still love me and would probably go to the ends of the earth to help me through this, sometimes I feel like I’m never going to be a “good girl” in their eyes anymore. With boyfriends, I feel like “damaged goods”. I know that is NOT feminist thinking in the LEAST (and when Andrew reads that he’s going to flip out because I know he disagrees), but when I get really depressed and down on myself, that’s the language that I find myself using. Everyone around me tells me it hurts them to hear me talk like that, but when I feel that broken, that unsafe and damaged, shame is my primary emotion.

I come from a very strong and powerful family, and I feel like though they tell me, “you can do whatever you want, honey”, they have higher expectations than that (of course they do- you don’t spend 50 grand a year to send a daughter you don’t believe in to a college that’s very far away from home). The problem is I am not sure where I will land. I like the concepts of psychology, music, communications, gender studies, and political science. I could be very happy in that realm. I just need to do a little more experimenting before I can settle on one idea. It’s hard for me to focus now though because I don’t have any goals except “get a bachelor’s degree”. I don’t have career aspirations to guide myself like I did in high school because I don’t want to be a doctor anymore and public health did not marsh my proverbial mellow. I think a lot of these problems root from that shame that I’ve accumulated, and my self esteem has been dramatically lowered.

Once I have a set purpose, things will look up.

<3Alymay

PS- Happy love your body day. Read my post about how to love your body here.

Top Ten Reasons Why I Love My Body

2008-10-14T22:42:00.005-04:00

October 15th (which, as I publish, is tomorrow here in NOLA but today out on the East Coast) is Love Your Body Day, so I decided to write my top ten reasons for loving my body. Feel free to post yours, but you should at least try and write them because it is a good exercise for self esteem (and better self esteem leads to better sex (with or without a partner), which leads to better happiness). These lists will be very unique. It feels a little egotistical to write it, but I promise you, it's for the better.

1. I am a natural redhead, which is awesome.
2. My eyes change color with my mood
3. My feet, pants size, and shirt size are all a size 8- which is really easy to find.
4. I like my breasts, and though sometimes i feel like they're too big for a lot of athletic activity, that can be fixed with a sports bra, and played up when I want to go out.
5. My face, arms, and legs are covered in freckles:-)
6. My leg hair is so light that only my boyfriend can tell that I seldom shave my legs- and he doesn't care.
7. I can tell if it's going to rain because my knees start to hurt, so it give me a heads up if it's a rainboots day
8. I have an extremely good sense of smell
9. My body gives me lots of heads up when things are hormonally "off"
10. My right arm is bigger than my left, because it's so strong and stretched from playing so much trombone, and it makes me feel happy and geeky.

Now I'm going to tell you ten ways you can love your body- these are mostly women centered because it's stuff I do/try to do, so I apologize men. Maybe a dude will step up to the plate and write a guy's version?

1. Take the stairs- you might be mad during it, but it feels so much better when you get to your flight.
2. Take long, hot showers when need be.
3. After that long, hot shower, put lotion on your legs and arms because it always feels more hydrated and beautiful.
4. On that note, make sure you're drinking enough water.
5. While you're still wet from that shower, wrap yourself in a towel and if you so desire, paint your toenails and/or write. That's what I do on bad days (I paint my toenails but I leave my laptop next to me because I write when I am waiting).
6. Masturbate more. Not only are you loving yourself, but it can help you achieve orgasms with another person if that's difficult for you.
7. Instead of looking for flaws in the mirror, compliment yourself.
8. Go for a long walk in a park somewhere. NOLA peeps- Audubon is PERFECT for this.
9. Give into your food cravings. When you crave something, nine times out of ten it's because it has something that your body needs (just keep it in check and make sure you're eating other stuff to balance it out)
10. Make your bed comfortable and get lots of pillows. Never underestimate the power of a good nap!

What are your lists?

<3Alymay

Our Bodies, Our Shames.

2008-10-13T21:46:00.003-04:00

The other day I had a couple of mixed gendered friends over to my room for crepes and conversation. I was getting tired and knew I was about to pass out, so I decided to change for bed. My first instinct (and action) was to say, “guys, block your eyes”. One of my guy friends was like “oh, so she can look but not us?” and then we were like “we’re both girls, we share a bathroom and a shower…not a big deal.”

The more I thought about it, those old standards are a little old fashioned, and I have leftover shame for my body from (probably) the Victorian Era. Not that I was alive in the Victorian Era or anything, but that’s when a lot of modern shame came from (though my friend who is reading over my shoulder as I write this argues that it comes from Ancient Greece…we’ll debate this later). I feel like my personal shame comes from my figure skating days. Looking at the girls on the television and listening to the words of coaches and fellow skaters, I always felt fat during those days and some of those feelings carried over until my middle and high school years. Those unhealthy feelings led to bigger problems. A boyfriend of mine used to call me a “big girl” all of the time, which led to even more problems.

The thing you have to understand is I’m not big or fat…at all. I have almost a perfect BMI and guys nowadays are calling me “thin”. But some people from my past used to use that language to control me. Only this year (where incidentally my Freshman fifteen came on early) am I truly happy with (and proud of) my body. I don’t know if it’s the maturity of college men or my overly supportive boyfriend and support systems, but I have gained weight since high school and am much happier. But I digress.

There is no doubt in my mind that my quick “guys don’t look” reaction was ingrained in my youth. In the days of gay rights, transgenderism, and alternative sexualities, men can look at men and women can look at women is in my mind, old fashioned. It doesn’t make sense to me as a bisexual woman that men looking at me would be any more shame than women looking at me. It makes sense that we’d be “allowed’ to look at people of our own gender because “my parts look like yours”, but I don’t know how necessary that is. I had never really seen a penis (besides family members) until I was learning how to please one and it kind of freaked me out. “It’s so….BIG!” was my reaction for the first three or four because in my mind, I was thinking it was some sort of three inch mechanism, not the 5-7 (or so ish) inch (in the instances I saw them) hard, fleshy monsters with the ability to impregnate me. Holy crap that was scary to my fourteen-year-old eyes!

Now that I’ve grown into a happily sexually active college student, my fear of penises has diminished. I wish that my first sexual experiences were more comfortable because I probably would have made better decisions in high school. Next time I need to change in front of people, I’m going to say “guys, heads up, I’m changing” and let them make their own decisions.

Incidentally, this Wednesday is Love Your Body Day. Keep on loving!

Coming Out Issue and The Boyfriend Protection

2008-10-11T02:27:00.006-04:00

I was at a frat party earlier with a male friend that was not my boyfriend (he had a guys' night). Guys were starting to creep on me in ways that I didn't appreciate, and being actually sober (I don't drink when I have to go to Baton Rouge at 8 AM the next day), I kind of freaked out a little bit, so I linked arm with this guy friend of mine, both knowing that it was for my protection.

First of all, it scares me that in 2008, I still feel like I need that protection from men, because the bottom line is, I'm still afraid of them. I always feel like they have other objectives which yes, biologically they do, but they have an obligation as a human in the 21st century to respect the girls' wishes. That's all I need to say about that.

Today (now that it's almost 2 Central) is National Coming Out Day. Though I have been an out bisexual for years and years and years and years, I have more coming out to do beyond my close social circle/family/psychiatrists. I have PTSD from a sexually and physically abusive situation I was in during my time at Fitchburg State. Since then, I have had a great deal of difficulty trusting men. My current boyfriend, who I love and adore (and who is asleep in my bed as I write this because he knew I had to jump on my writer's block being lifted) knows all about this and respects my limits so much. We're always trying to tap into each others' emotions, and our relationship truly is spectacular. At a point where i thought I was incapable of a mutual romantic relationship, he came into my life and swept me off my feet on a June New Orleans day back at summer orientation and then he flew up to MA from Texas...<3 Okay, enough gushy stuff.

I was thinking earlier (because sometimes I have paranoid flip-outs) about what would have happened if my boyfriend had seen my not-so-much boyfriend having his arm around me. I know that current boyfriend would be cool with it, knowing my situation, but previous boyfriends probably would have beaten them up. It made me think about when guys beat other guys up for girls. Sure, it seems very biological, survival of the fittest, I want this girl, I'm going to beat someone up for her, but in 2008, I think it's very old fashioned. Not to be conceited, but I am really smart now. I'm eighteen, I went to a fantastic high school, I go to a very great research university, and I'm on track to great things. I am capable, ESPECIALLY with what I've gone through, of making decisions of who I sleep with. Though I am monogamous to my boyfriend and I know he in particular is not the type to go and beat some guy up for "taking his girl", it reminds me that not every guy is as respectful to women as my boyfriend.

Sorry this turned into a "my boyfriend rocks!" rant, but he really does<3

Tomorrow I'm off to Baton Rouge for a Planned Parenthood VOX training...I can't wait! I'm sure I'll have lots to tell you about that.

Much love always,

Alymay

Edit: as I opened my drawer to grab a pen for the training today, I found my fake wedding rings that I wear when I travel to foreign countries/sketchy bars to pretend that I'm married to whatever man I'm traveling with because a travel website before I went to Honduras told me to. Is a married woman more "protected" than a single one?

Apathy is Contagious

2008-10-09T22:54:00.004-04:00

So much lately I've wanted to write in my blog, but I never know what to write about. I could write about how Sarah Palin is not at all fit to be Vice President, but I feel like everyone that cares knows that already. It feels sometimes like I'm preaching to the choir and not making any real change.

But why? I've felt that on this campus people are either super political or super apathetic. Unfortunately, my friends tend to be of the apathetic persuasion. I try and motivate them, convince them to register to vote, tell them that this is the most important election of their lives, and then they say, "people said that about the last one." It doesn't matter that people said it the last time! There are two vastly different scenarios on what goes down for the next four years starting in January, and we only have one month, less than one month to convince people one way or the other- one month to find out who the next president is (I hope we know in a month and it's not another million year process with the butterfly ballots and whatnot).

It just hurts me that eighteen year olds can be so indifferent on these issues. Do we want access to emergency contraception? Do we want it to be cheaper than it is ($50 OTC at the pharmacy) for the people who need it the most? Money should never be an issue in preventing pregnancy- because a baby or even an abortion costs a hell of a lot more. The debt that our country is collecting like Pokemon cards for wars that us or our friends are getting sent overseas for, wars that most of us don't agree with, started by presidents with 27% approval ratings...how can so many people not care?

I have probably sent this quote to 114423424 people (it's my email signature) and may have even posted it here before, but:

"I am aware that many object to the severity of my language; but is there not cause for severity? I will be as harsh as truth, and as uncompromising as justice. On this subject, I do not wish to think, or to speak, or write, with moderation. No! no! Tell a man whose house is on fire to give a moderate alarm; tell him to moderately rescue his wife from the hands of the ravisher; tell the mother to gradually extricate her babe from the fire into which it has fallen; -- but urge me not to use moderation in a cause like the present. I am in earnest -- I will not equivocate -- I will not excuse -- I will not retreat a single inch -- AND I WILL BE HEARD. The apathy of the people is enough to make every statue leap from its pedestal, and to hasten the resurrection of the dead."
-William Lloyd Garrison

Think about it.

<3may

Hos and Hockey Moms

2008-10-01T14:47:00.003-04:00

I am sick of the term ho.

Think about how much we hear that word on a daily basis. "Bros before hos". "Superman that ho" (if you haven't looked into the meaning of superman...think about that I know ten year old girls that can sing all of the words to that and "Promiscuous Girl" by Nelly Furtado). I know the media has an effect on sexuality, but some subtle things we all do naturally can have much deeper consequences!

I am also sick of Sarah Palin being called a VPILF- VP I'd like to...you know. Let me get one thing clear: Sarah Palin is no feminist and I am terrified of her becoming president- but no person deserves to be treated one way because they are a "hot mom". I don't say "I'm voting for Barack Obama because I want to bang him"- and even though he is one sexy creature, I care more about the fact that his policies and background are what we need right now.

The thing that bothers me about Sarah Palin is she's always using the "I'm just a hockey mom" description of herself. We all know the stereotype of a soccer/hockey mom, but it doesn't describe personal experiences that would make her a great president if something should happen to John McCain. It's almost like she's undermining her own accomplishments (not that
being mayor of a tiny city and 20 months as governor can even compare with Biden's experience). I wish she'd respect herself more, even though it's hard to respect her right now.

<3may

You Can Wake Up Now: September's Over

2008-10-01T03:38:00.003-04:00

I'm not much of a Green Day fan, but in general, I feel like I was asleep all of the last month and just now I'm waking up to myself again- after midnight, now October 1st. Where'd I go? It's a long complicated story- check my "leaving Fitchburg" blog, www.fitchburgexodus.blogspot.com for more details.

Conversations with my academic advisor, friends, family, and therapist have all led me to believe that I'm heading in the social work direction. I changed my major (again?) to a psychology and music double, or maybe something with gender studies. I have years before I have to officially declare. I want to help people find joy in sex, and for all to feel respected in their relationships. I want all people to be treated equally and fairly by their cohorts. I want women to make a dollar for every dollar men make rather than the 75 cents we currently earn. I want all people to make healthy choices when it comes to sexuality, and to have opportunities to learn the facts they need to be a sexually active human- not the political rhetoric that gets young people pregnant every day.

Maybe I mean poli sci, maybe I am definitely a psych major- I just know I want to make a difference when I'm in and when I get out of school.

Expect a lot more from me soon.

<3may

Women's Groups.

2008-09-06T17:45:00.004-04:00

Automaticism after a day at a cozy knitting shop where I got to do a lot of positive thinking (after an equally entertaining "night with the guys", which inspired this).

Linking arms, holding hands
Helping through the stitches
Struggling through the same issues
Only ten years earlier, or ten years down the line.
Multi-generational, babies, teens, mothers, grammies
Comfort in women, comfort in the gender
Comfort that we're together
Time with women is special for a developing girl
Out of the house, not ready for her own place
Dormitory living, carte blanch dining
Making your own rules, but little responsibility
In love, but nowhere near married
It reminds her that there are those like her out there
That have made that large step in womanhood
Reminds her she's not alone
Though she's one of the boys that'll kick your butt at wii (or attempt...)
And she'll make an innuendo joke so dirty that it'll make the frat boys blush
She's tough and strong and laughs at bad movies
She needs to know she's a woman
She needs to remember what it feels like to be around them.
Girl time, women moments.
So she can grow old.

<3may

Eve Ensler is My Hero, FYI

2008-09-05T01:13:00.003-04:00

Hey everyone!

As we're still "hurricationing" in Dallas, my boyfriend's mother decided to buy us both books that we could read during down-time this week:-) We both love our books about equally (he bought The Pessimist's Guide To History...which we both have fallen for hard), and between reading, catching up with his friends, and wii sports, we are having a blast.

I chose Eve Ensler's political memoir, Insecure At Last. I had wanted to pick this book up for a while now, but hadn't had the opportunity. Though I don't usually do book reviews before I finish a book, I can promise you that this one is worth reading. What I admire about Ms. Ensler is her ability to "walk the walk" as well as inspiring people with her words and performances. She wanted to do something about the Balkan rape camps...so she spent two months there, despite her fear of flying. She wanted to support Cindy Sheehan, so she camped out with her at Crawford Ranch. She traveled to Afghanistan to help with the women's liberation movement.

I am only finished with Part One, but I am very inspired by her writing. Not only is she an amazing writer, actress, and activist, but she is a great role model for the feminists of all generations.

<3may

Freedom.

2008-09-02T01:57:00.006-04:00

Two for you today.

In a country that was founded on the freedom of press, in a land where we are allowed to assemble, why on earth are our journalists getting arrested for "rioting" when they're really just doing their jobs as journalists? It really is beyond me. Oh wait, they're called Democracy Now. That means that they MUST be violent...

EDIT: See my brother's take on this here (he's a law student so he has more "street cred" on these issues).

In one of the most progressive (supposedly) countries of the world, why do women have trouble accessing simple health needs like birth control? Because taking the pill for endometriosis is exactly like an abortion.

That's all for tonight, it's 1 AM here. Think about it.

<3may

Bad Person!

2008-08-29T02:40:00.003-04:00

Hate to use one blog to plug my other, but I am evacuating to Dallas for Hurricane Gustav and I wanted to let you all know I'll be updating my Fitchburg Exodus blog instead, as it's more of a Fitchburg Exodus than feminism issue.

When I find myself with extra time and topics I will return to this blog, but I think it too is going on a hurrication until I find inspiration in feminism again. Right now, I'm on a one track mind.

<3may

My Exodus

2008-08-14T10:38:00.002-04:00

Hey everyone!

At the request of one of my friends, I am writing a chronology of the journey I embark on tomorrow, leaving the city I've lived in and loved for almost nineteen years. I am nervous and excited.

I decided to open a new blog to do this. It's called Fitchburg Exodus. Fitchburg native or not, I hope you check it out!

www.fitchburgexodus.blogspot.com

<3may

Ode to Fitchburg

2008-08-10T01:25:00.004-04:00

It's 1:30 AM. I'm laying on the couch of a suite in Washington, DC. I came up for the weekend to help my older brother move into law school and to get away from Mass for a bit so I can have a clear head when I return tomorrow. I am leaving for New Orleans "for good" on Friday- which is nuts!- but I haven't really packed much at all. I also, for my entire life, have never left Fitchburg for more than a few weeks at a time. Never from August to December- only to leave again in early January.

Fitchburg has been my home (though I don't technically reside in the bounds of the city) for my whole life. I was born at Burbank Hospital. From the age of two until ten, I trained at the Wallace Civic Center as a synchronized figure skater (at the time, Fitchburg had an actively nationally competitive team). I went to charter from ages 12-my high school graduation, and even worked there that summer. I worked at Pro Health. I shopped at the Market Basket on Route 12 and the one on John Fitch for years. I've marched in the July 4th parade- multiple times. I also have watched the fireworks at the Cinema World parking lot during patriotic season. I helped get Mayor Wong elected- and marched in the first ever First Thursday parade (and played trombone in the second!). I hung around the film department at FSC and I took classes there. I ate at Country Pizza and tailgated with their ice cream, having conversations that lasted a long time about deep stuff. I've played the "Cleghorn game" as us charter kids call it-navigating the streets to somehow land you at Parkhill Plaza. I've done extensive research on the history of the mills in Fitchburg, and even went so far as to create a board game about it for history class ("Exploitationopoly" probably won't get picked up by Milton-Bradley anytime soon...). I've stayed at Parkhill Park past dark. I've marched for peace. I've spent time at the Cleghorn Neighborhood Center. I used to frequently take study breaks from the FPL and grab espresso's, only to come back to my studies. I could go on for hours about all of the memories I've had here, because though i don't live in Fitchburg, I tell everyone I do- and easily could play the part.

North Central Mass is honestly the only home I've ever had. It feels weird to be leaving, but at the same time, I'm ready. I need to go somewhere, learn lessons from another developing city, so I can come home and apply it to my city. Like Mayor Wong, I envision Fitchburg as "Fit, Fun, and Funky".

I will miss you, Fitchburg. You'll always be home to me.

<3may

Connect The Dots.

2008-08-06T14:33:00.004-04:00

Last week, this was all the buzz.

Today, this was published.

United States, what does this mean for us?

I don't even think I need to respond.

<3 may

Hate Crimes, Terrorism, and Other Ways To Start My Workday

2008-07-29T09:37:00.006-04:00

I was avoiding writing about this one, but it's time to face it.

This weekend, a man in Knoxville, Tennessee opened fire in a Unitarian Universalist church during a children's production of Annie because of the church's liberal views.

It was very hard to type that. I was in shock. As a Unitarian Universalist myself, I felt personally violated. We try to be nice to everyone, we say it during every service at my church, "this is a church of the loving heart, this is a church of the helping hands, this is a church of the caring community". It's hard to believe people hate us so much.

Personally, I agree with what Joe Lauria wrote in the Huffington Post. This is terrorism. As soon as this article broke, I was thinking, in my "Naive Northerner" mind, "Oh my God! Maybe it's not safe to be a Unitarian Universalist in other parts of the country. Maybe I shouldn't go to church when I move to Louisiana!" Of course this is ungrounded- New Orleans is a very liberal city as a whole (and has several UU churches), and this is one isolated incident (but it's so heart-breaking it's hard to see it that way). I had half a mind to call my very close friend (and proud owner of one of the few (and frequently stolen) Obama lawn signs in Dallas) and ask him if it's "really that bad in the South". This attack on my religion made me start to think in "North vs. South, us vs. them" terms- which needs to stop or else I'll have ungrounded hate (not to mention be really uncomfortable when I move in two weeks), too.

It's particularly hard to see this as one isolated incident because it sparked from a common hate that happens all over the place. I used to date a boy who couldn't tell his parents I was "a liberal" for fear of them disapproving of me (that one didn't work, for obvious reasons). My friend, who is a Louisiana native transplanted to Massachusetts, said that he used to steal Kerry signs and "hate on" liberals before he moved to Mass and became one himself. Getting to know people and educating oneself is the cure of all stereotypes, biases, and ungrounded hate.

As I type this, I am getting frequent flashbacks to my high school. Our adaptation of the ADL's Pyramid of Hate exercise is a longstanding tradition in new student trainings at charter. This was first introduced to me on the one-year anniversary of September 11th, which happened to be in the first two weeks after our school's founding. Our guidance counselor at the time (who is now our principal and she's amazing!!) wanted to set the tone as a tolerant school that thought a lot about our biases and how to keep them out of our lives as students (or teachers), particularly on such an emotional day as that anniversary. Fourteen students are handed cards with an act of hate written on it- ranging as small as "Telling Belittling Jokes" to "Genocide" with everything in between (a lot of times, we have to explain to the kids what words like "desecration" mean). The students have to rank themselves based on what they feel is "least offensive" to "most offensive", with audience feedback, as there's no "official" right answer (terrorism ALWAYS sparks great conversations- chaining yourself to a tree vs. what happened on September 11th are two very different incidents). We then place these words on a pyramid (you can see the ADL pyramid here). The most important line in the lesson plan is this: "these acts like name calling and belittling jokes may seem common and every day, but if we don't call people on things like that, it could turn into accepting stereotypes or discrimination. And if we don't check people on that, it could turn into assault or damage of property. Next in line is murder, desecration, and finally, genocide. We must keep things in check to make sure our school community stays safe." We then open the floor up for discussion, and trust me- we get LOTS of questions.

Because this activity had such a positive effect on the way my fellow students and I treated each other, it has been adopted as a standard activity that all new students go through at orientation. It's incredibly powerful.

The incident on Sunday shows that unchecked hate can really be a dangerous thing.

<3may

One Less

2008-07-28T07:48:00.004-04:00

If you are above the age of 14 and haven't been living in a nuclear fall-out shelter for the last three years, you've heard of Gardasil, the vaccine that protects against the most frequent and dangerous strains of HPV, the virus that can cause cervical cancer or genital warts (and have been linked to cancers of the anus, penis, and throat).

[Incidentally, for the local crowd, some of the tests that the CDC did before Gardasil was launched happened at ProHealth in Fitchburg! How cool is that? At first glance cool, but it makes me worrisome that they picked us....]

This vaccine is recommended for women between the ages of 11-26 (or as young as nine at a doctor's discretion), the idea being that you get the vaccine (ideally) before sexual onset.

According to today's New York Times, less than 1/4 women of the age range have received any of this vaccine, let alone the recommended three doses. Though many people have strong feelings about this vaccine's efficacy (both from a public health realm, considering the safety of the vaccine, and also from a moral ground, worrying it might increase "promiscuity" (don't get me started...)), less than 1/4 seems not right.

One in four....where have we heard that statistic? Oh yes. One in four teenagers between 14-19 have an STD. One in four women between the ages of 14-59 have HPV.

One thing overlooked by today's article was the cost of the vaccine. Not every woman is blessed enough to have insurance, and even some people who have it can't get it covered completely. Gardasil usually costs in the ballpark of $200 a dose. That is a $600 investment for the three recommended, which is a mighty investment for the people below the poverty line, who are statistically most at risk. That's fair...

I have to wonder, Gardasil, are we reaching our market? Or are there more politics at stake?

<3may

The Little Blue Pill: Not Just For Men Anymore?

2008-07-23T13:29:00.004-04:00

I am a big fan of Tara Parker-Pope, in case there was any question of that. LOVE her. I read her blog almost every day (sometimes I check it like one would check their email (okay total side-note- one time, she did something about college pressure and i commented on her blog about getting rejected from Cornell but then finding myself more happy with Tulane anyways and she actually responded and commented back!!!! I nearly cried)).

Today, I was very interested in this study (check out TPP's analysis here).

Pros:
- AWESOME! People never seem to care about female orgasms as much as male, so now people are helping people orgasm! This is awesome! And calling it "sexual disfunction" means that women are supposed to enjoy sex (shock and horror?)! I'm glad the mainstream media agrees with what women have been saying forever- pleasure matters, and it's not all about the man's ejaculation.
- It's one pill for men and women, which is really pretty cool.

Cons:
- A prescription to treat side effects of other prescriptions seldom ends well. Sex therapy probably is just as, if not more effective than this claims to be (there aren't always great numbers on sex therapy because it has so many styles and factors).
- Who funded this study? Who else but Pfizer! (interesting...)
- Viagra has tell-tale side effects- I wouldn't call this double-blind like it claims to be. if I got frequent headaches, I'd know someone was messing up my endocrine system.
- Tiny, tiny study. Ninety-eight women is not enough to draw conclusions from.

In my opinion, the jury is still out on this. This could potentially be really awesome and groundbreaking on sexual disfunction treatment for women, or just be another way for psychiatrists to write us off with an Rx and send us on our way, with probably more of a mental fix than a chemical.

If I find out more, I'll follow up.

<3may

Victory in The House!

2008-07-22T09:21:00.002-04:00

The other girls will speak up in their own time, so I'm going to go ahead and start posting again.

I had a big victory last week I want to share with you. I lobbied to John Olver (my rep who happens to be on the appropriations committee) in April about increasing the international family planning budget to $600 million dollars, which just passed this week. Though there were hundreds (possibly thousands) of other lobbyists who advocated for the same thing, it feels really great that we could have a victory like that. I felt like I could make a difference:-)

The reason why this is so important right now is for the last seven consecutive years, President Bush has denied UNFPA (the UN Population Fund, yes, the letters don't match) the approx. $43 million congress has allocated to them annually, because they don't exactly fit in the global gag rule (don't get me started). This year, congress increased that level to $60 million, which hopefully won't get denied by our president again.

This family planning money will help prevent maternal mortality, treat obstetric fistula, and increase access to contraception, as well as services like food, water, medicines, and will fight to prevent unjust practices like childhood marriages and female genital mutilation (FGM).

The way the bill is worded will help to prevent Bush from denying the money to UNFPA, by stating that the money will go to certain services, including these I found here

Provision of supplies to ensure safe childbirth and emergency obstetric care;
Provision of contraceptives to prevent unintended pregnancies and the spread of disease;
Prevention and treatment of obstetric fistula;
Reestablishment of maternal health services in regions devastated by natural disasters and armed conflict;
Promotion of access to vital services, including water, food and health care, for vulnerable populations; and
Efforts to end harmful traditional practices such as female genital mutilation and child marriage.

What's not to love about those?

Cross your fingers, guys.

<3may

Some Visitors:-)

2008-07-04T16:34:00.003-04:00

I am pleased to announce that I have asked two feminists to join me in authoring this blog. Both have chosen to remain anonymous under pseudonyms to protect their stories, as both of them have gone through unique experiences. They're both brilliant and I love what they have to say.

If you're interested in blogging under estrogenet, just drop me an email. I still will admin it, but I want other voices heard, particularly from the Fitchburg area. Let me know.

<3may

In America, You Can Never Be Thin, Hot, or Tight Enough.

2008-07-03T10:08:00.004-04:00

This is not an entry for people who don't like hearing about vaginas. There's your warning.

I am very torn on what to think about this spa for pelvic fitness. I understand the benefits of Kegel exercises, how they help with urinary incontinence or to increase the number and level of a woman's orgasm (you only have to read about ten pages of Cosmo for that), and I regularly practice them and encourage my gal friends to do so as well. Pelvic fitness is important- but this center isn't exactly, in my mind, perfect. What concerns me is that the vulva-reconstruction surgery will be like the new botox. I completely agree that women who are not achieving orgasm frequently, have urinary incontinence, or would just like to be "tighter" can have surgery to help with that. If they want the procedure or therapies, they can have it- and this spa would be perfect. I'm just worried that tightness is becoming (or has become) the new thin.

For instance, hanging out with one of my guy friends once, we were talking about girls he was interested in dating, and the pros and cons of some of his options. I remember asking him about one girl, and he said "she's perfect except she's got mud flaps". I didn't get what he meant, but he gladly cleared up my confusion by saying that she's had too much sex with other men, and that she was too loose. I thought it was interesting to me that he'd use that as dating criteria, and I was upset. I was still a "virgin" (hate that word, but that's what I called myself) at the time, so he made me think that if I had sex with anyone at all, I was going to be way too loose for the next guy to even want to sleep with me (an ungrounded fear I know). Then, a few months later, one of my guy friends described sex with an ex-girlfriend as "throwing a hot dog down an empty hallway". Sure, it's very normal for girls to discuss penis size with their girlfriends, but my friends have never used that term. At the time, I thought it was funny, but the more I think about it, the more it made me self-conscious that someday, someone was going to say that about me.

I know I am not alone in this paranoia. Several of my friends use a European device you can buy at any sex toy shop that's worn inside the vagina to exercise the PC muscles and thus increase tightness. I am not bashing this particular tool, but using it as an example. If the phrase goes "as tight as a teenager", why are teenagers all of the sudden worried that they'll be tight enough for their partner?

I cannot argue for a second that this is just one way, too. Many men worry about their penis size, too, and many women aren't helping to alleviate that fear. Maybe this "tightness" thing is a phenomena that I'm just waking up to in my transition to adulthood, but it certainly has been coming up in lots of conversations lately. All in all, I think this center, including the surgery, can be very helpful, so long as they aren't scalpel-happy...and as long as their media campaigns don't encourage this "tight=beauty" myth.

<3may

Starting to Make Transitions

2008-07-01T21:49:00.005-04:00

On a geeky note, this is the 42nd entry in my blog. Life, the universe, and everything, baby!

I am starting my last full month as a full-time resident of Massachusetts. I have a pretty full plate, too! I hope that somewhere in these weeks of visitors, band camp, working, and packing, I can have time to visit places like Portsmouth, the cape, Maine, and perhaps most importantly, The White Mountains. Unfortunately, on a "I'm Going to a College I Can't Afford" budget, that's probably going to have to wait.

I saw the first act (of four) of Spike Lee's "When the Levees Broke" documentary today. My brother had given it to me a long time ago, but I couldn't bring myself to watch it (maybe something one would want to see before they pay a deposit to go to school there), but my parents talked me into it tonight. Just from my two very short trips to New Orleans so far (both over the course of this spring, and mostly consisting of Tulane's campus), I recognized so much. I am not regretful of anything, still excited as hell to go to Tulane, but I feel a great amount of shame for being one of those people seeing it on TV and not caring at the time. Sure, I donated to the UU church's fund and sent candles down to a UU church in Mississippi, but I guess the real magnitude hadn't hit until this spring, when I was talking to people who were actually here. People who survived.

The town looks vibrant now, but sometimes on a street corner, you'll see an old, worn down building and you wonder if it was the flood or the poverty. At the extremely classy bed and breakfast I stayed in down in the Garden District, the owner pointed out hurricane damage that still hasn't been fixed. New Orleans is not back together now, but it's making strides. The charter school movement down there is fascinating, and I'm wondering, as a graduate of a charter school myself, what sort of opportunities I'll have there to help out.

This month is also about getting myself in shape for the future. On a marching band scholarship, I have to make sure that my body (especially my lips!) will be able to endure college band camp in the most heat and humidity I've ever felt. Luckily, I have UML band camp to look forward to (though it's my last year, which is really sad). I am excited to feel healthy again.

I could tell you all about how much the South Dakota injunction lift that says laws making doctors say before an abortion that the procedure will, "terminate the life of a whole, separate, unique, living human being," pisses me off, but you can just read about it here, and I'll say it one more time: it is the obligation of a medical professional to provide medical facts to the patient and to refer them somewhere else when the type of care they need or want is not a service one provides. It's really that simple. Don't make them say a phrase that isn't even medically accurate.

That's all for this evening.

<3may

The Sentinel, Teen Pregnancy, and Racist Comments.

2008-06-30T23:16:00.003-04:00

I am from a small town outside of Fitchburg, Massachusetts, but I kind of lie and tell everyone I'm from Fitchburg proper because it's my city (kind of like how people in Brookline or Cambridge say they're from Boston). I know the mayor personally, I've attended both high school and some college in the city, and I have participated in other meetings, like greenway committees and always attend First Thursday. Until people go over my house, they don't know that I actually live in Townsend.

Today, I read this in the paper. Besides finding out a former student was pregnant via the sentinel and that general shock that ensues (I screamed), I found this article to bother me in so many ways. I am trying to figure out how I'm going to respond. I know I need to write a letter to the editor, this issue cuts far too close to home, but I am sick of people in Fitchburg being so negative and, like the sentinel itself, brutal. They did a crazy mini-series on my high school (which got me into a great school, thank you), and how we aren't educating our students. They called us a cabbage patch. No matter how many positive things I told that reporter, I'd always end up misquoted and my mother and I would be misrepresented (again...).

I could spend hours talking about the pointedness of this article, the misrepresentation of a former student of mine and friend, but what really shocked me was the comment page (mine's under "Fitchburg Girl" on the second page (I know, always lying and pretending I'm from Fitchburg)). I was outraged, disturbed, completely put off, and.......I don't even know what to say about the comments. I am trying to be positive about my city, but when we're going to be so offensive- why bother? I need to stay strong and work hard- it's the only way anything gets done in Fitchburg, or anywhere for that matter. If Mayor Wong hadn't persisted, her changes wouldn't have happened. I need to rally up my troops.

But in the meantime, I have work to do. I am moving to Louisiana in 46 days (not that I'm counting), but I want to do as much as I can at the clinic this summer. I feel like I'm doing something right there. I wish I had time to teach. Maybe I could do something at charter. Or do a support group for some of the pregnant girls. As much as I loathe the Sentinel, it does a great job of motivating me, whether it's community building at the school or working at the clinic. As I was packing up books, pamphlets, lesson plans, and other relics of high school, I debated whether or not to bring my old curricula with me. Maybe I need to whip some out this summer, there's still time.

I feel like working on it right now. I want to interview my friends who are teen parents. What they would tell girls. The ones who are pregnant, and the ones who have either aborted or put one up for adoption. I need to do something.

Support the REAL act. Some day, when my heart's not racing and I am not fired up and pissed off, I'll tell y'all about it.

<3may

Imagine If You Were Key Eye-Witness To A Robbery at a Bank- And You Couldn't Use the Words "Robbery" or "Steal"....

2008-06-27T11:49:00.007-04:00

That's what Tory Bowen had to do in her Lincoln, Nebraska rape trial with the words "Rape" and "Sexual Assault", because her judge thought that the language, like "victim" or "perpetrator", could sway the jury in her favor. And this hardly made national news. If the Feminist Majority Foundation didn't pick this up until a whole 18 days later (and they're usually on the cutting edge of these things), people must not be talking about it.

Bowen says it right though. As quoted in the Kansas City Star, she said, “It shouldn’t be up to a judge to tell me whether or not I was raped. I should be able to tell the jury in my own words what happened to me.”

I have a hard time believing anyone has that right. It is so crystal-clear to me that there's very restrictive patriarchy going on here, I want to explode. This article from the Omaha World-Herold states that she was intoxicated and blacked out (which also may have been her body's natural response to trauma). Since in the working definition of rape I've always learned from working in a clinic and attending trainings with the Rape Crisis Center of Central Massachusetts (which incidentally has a free, 24-hr hotline at 1-800-870-5905 for survivors and their supporters), if a person is drunk, they can't legally consent.

This bothers me so much. It also bothers me that jurors said later (see the Omaha article) that they did not know that the language was being restricted. The word "sex" to me and probably many of you makes me think of smiling faces and sweaty nights under a nice white bed-sheet, not the violent crime that rape is. Bowen once again puts it brilliantly, "This makes women sick, especially the women who have gone through this. They know the difference between sex and rape. If it was sex, I wouldn't be speaking to you." She also later stated that describing her rape as sex felt like lying on the stand.

Fitchburg State student, close friend, and feminist Bria Sullivan (you may remember her as being the Fitchburg State student that kind of represented Fitchburg Youth on Chronicle, locals) sums it up nicely, "oh my god! did we regress backwards and step into Islamified terrorist dictatorships and start stoning rape victims for their crime?!" Bria, I couldn't agree with you more.

A good policy of the Rape Crisis Center of Central Massachusetts is that if a woman says it's rape, then it probably was. Why would a woman put herself through so much shame and public ridicule? It's not like the system encourages women to speak up. Only about 37% of rape cases were reported in 1996 and making women call it sexual intercourse in the court room is NOT going to help.

Needless to say, Bowen is fed up with the legislative system and has given up plans to go to law school.

That's all I have to say about that. I am outraged that this could happen in the US in 2008!

<3may

Some Quick Follow-Up Before Bed

2008-06-24T00:09:00.002-04:00

I just read this on the Feminist Daily News Wire, so I wanted to post it here since it follows up and agrees with me on the lack of comprehensive education being one of the main causes of the pregnancy either spike or pact (whether or not it was a pact is still under debate).

Little known fact- did you know that comprehensive sexual health education doesn't get federal funding? Abstinence-only got $176 million, but we get nothing. Support the REAL Act, the Responsible Education About Life Act!

That's my shameless plug for the day. I'll follow up about the REAL Act soon, I just wanted to get this posted before I went to bed.

<3may

Our Bodies, Ourselves.

2008-06-21T12:28:00.003-04:00

Alright- I can understand some pro-life arguments and where they come from.

As much as I'll fight it and disagree with it, I can see why some people would confuse Plan B with an abortion if they had a different definition of where life starts. I can see why some people would think abstinence education would deter abortion, though I completely disagree. As much as I want to scream and yell from the rooftops against these beliefs, I can still see why they would think that.

What I don't understand no matter how hard I try, is why this pharmacy would refuse to stock not only Plan B, not just condoms, but birth control as well. That doesn't make sense! If you're trying to stop abortion, make it less likely that they'll need one. If I was trying to stop abortion, I'd hand out free condoms to every teenager I saw!

PLUS, it is an ethical duty of health-care professionals to provide accurate and medically-sound advice to patients, and yes, this includes pharmacists. It is absolutely unethical to deny access to medically proven information, regardless of your beliefs (See: Global Gag Rule). If you don't believe in birth control, don't take it.

FURTHERMORE, beyond all arguments against why he would do this, he's putting women at risk by denying us access to medication. Birth control isn't just so you can have pregnancy-free sex, it also can be (and is often) used to treat ovarian cysts, acne, and may reduce the risk of a woman getting uterine, colon, or ovarian cancer. Just because a woman is on the pill does not at all mean she is having copious amounts of pre-marital sex. Since this "medical professional" refuses to refer his patients elsewhere (isn't that an ethic of medicine as well?), how can we insure that a woman who has ovarian cysts gets her medication? This is serious stuff!

This doctor may think he's waging a war on abortion, but he's just simply waging a war on women's bodies.

Pregnancy Pact? Really?!

2008-06-20T17:50:00.005-04:00

Required Reading

Wow. As an 18-year-old from a small, developing city not terribly far from Gloucester, and close friend of several teenage mothers, I am shocked. What could cause this? It's hard for me to come up with words.

Well, I have an idea what might be at fault.

Maybe it has to do with abstinence-only programs historically and continually (despite these valiant efforts against it) get tons of federal funding. Best Friends, an abstinence-only group, just received $1 Billion, against many insiders' recommendations, simply because they had the connections.

Plus, in the post-Reagan age of the Global Gag Rule, young women learn little about the options a women has if and when she does get pregnant. They don't know the advantages and disadvantages to all (abortion, adoption, raising the child with or without a partner in the picture) options- so they would not see the major problems with teenage motherhood.

All under the age of sixteen. I'm sorry- I am having so much trouble getting words out of my absolutely shocked brain.

Needless to say, "Best Friends" is not my best friend right now.

I know I've blogged about this before from a different perspective, but I cannot stress the importance of a balanced, comprehensive sexuality education. Having student-taught this style of education, I know one of the components is options teenage mothers have. We go over the pros and cons of abortion, adoption, and parenting: both with or without a partner in the picture. Sex ed stops in ninth grade there, which just isn't realistic these days. Good sex ed should start in elementary school ("good touch, bad touch") and continue into adulthood. What I learned in sex ed my junior year certainly stuck more with me than what I had learned when I was younger. As a personal testimony- sex seemed like something adults did in middle school- information I didn't need or care about. As I got older, I realized that since a lot of my peers were having sex, I should probably learn the information necessary, in case me or one of my friends got in a situation like that. I cannot stress the importance of sexuality education at all ages- it's so fundamental to me.

As for a pregnancy pact, I can't believe it would be the Juno effect many people claim it to be. These girls were planning on raising their kids together- and Juno clearly wants to get the hell out of the child's life the entire time. Juno was about an accident, about the actual pregnancy (the "easy part"), and these girls want the baby.

I can't even fathom it. I can see the eerily glamorous part of having a baby- I admit that when my friend brings her son to BBQs or parties, I love playing with him and holding him and a get a little bit jealous for an iota of a second- but it only takes me another iota to realize how difficult it was for her to finish high school and graduate side by side with me, and how much responsibility it is, and that a baby is not in line with my career plans- not for at least another ten to fifteen years. The jealous feeling does not last. I am so proud of her for being able to continue her education and raise her son, but she was very blessed with the support of her mother. Do these fifteen-year-olds have the support of their parents like that? Do they have any support at all?

Maybe the babies are their way of trying to mark their independence and freedom- definitely something I can relate to. Where was their support system? Where did they get their information? I can't help but quote The Laramie Project, and I am not comparing them to murderers, but this sums up how I feel so nicely, "How did you learn? How did we as a society teach you that?...in addition to your sentence, you must tell your story, you must tell your story."

<3may

Oh Cosmo, You're At It Again

2008-06-19T18:33:00.004-04:00

Hey guys!

Sometimes, my friends give me their cosmos once their finished with them- and no, I don't mean the drink. I've even bought it on my own. I do not like the magazine that much, I just read it to see what women these days are reading, what messages we are receiving.

Today, I found the April copy that I hadn't read yet while cleaning. I flipped through to see "yes, the shoe ads still put asics on women in highly seductive positions, yes, there's still celeb news, yes, they still show no room for alternative sexualities and yes, heterosexual sex position advice". Normal cosmo shenanigans. But in this particular issue, I found "50 Things Guys Wish You Knew", the cover one being about how women can look sexy in just a white t-shirt that they bought for 2 bucks, so i was like "okay, this could be cool".

I was wrong.

Here are some highlights:

* "Making me ask a man for directions is like telling you to ask another woman for fashion advice".
* "Ask me to do something for you and you'll remind me that I'm a man. On the other hand, tell me how to do something and you'll remind me of my mother."
* "I know girls burp and fart. But hearing you do it i a zillion times grosser than when I do it in front of you- not fair but true"
* "Close-cropped hair. Cut upper-arm muscles. Stubble on your legs. Some women can get away with these attributes, but most of the time, they remind me of a guy's body. When I see them on a girl, I'm completely turned off"
* "I'm totally in favor of you wearing skimpy clothes when we're out with my pals. Reveal enough to make them want you but not so much that they assume they can easily have you.
* "On the subject of my mom: if you hate her, I'll think less of you, but if you always agree with her, it also makes me think less of you"
* "Want me to watch more chick flicks with you? Then don't tell all your friends that I teared up during the last one. Come on, I have a reputation to protect"
* "Just because I occasionally look at other women in your presence doesn't mean I don't find you hot. It just means that there's someone wearing an outfit more revealing than yours"
* "Ask me how many women I've slept with and I'll give you a low number if I like you and a high one if I'm after a fling"."

This sounds like expectations that they give me at work for what I have to do (another rant for another day?), but this also reminded me of the often forgotten stereotypes that men have to prevail. Us feminists often forget that for every girl there is who wants to be a rocket scientist, there's a guy who wants to paint nails or do hairdressing. And they're not necessarily lesbian or gay, it's just the way it is.

You can cry during the chick flicks. Your girlfriend doesn't have to have the hottest wardrobe to show off to your friends. It's okay.

Start living with no regrets, no expectations, and no shame. The world runs a lot smoother that way.

<3may

The Levees Broke and the Flood Came Out

2008-06-15T16:25:00.009-04:00

Looking back, my last week felt like I was the main character of a trashy teen novel (but not too trashy). Not like I've been distanced from it, but you know when you read a book and you're like "I want to be her"? That's me right now- dying to be myself. I had accidentally turned on my autopilot, but found that the plane drove herself better than the rules did. I hadn't been myself for years- I was caught in being very fake, caught in being the token Massachusetts liberal, Subaru-driving feminist girl with a soapbox. I am still a feminist. I still drive a Subaru. Massachusetts will always be my home, no matter what state (or country!) I am a resident of, but I am no longer fake. I experienced me for the first time in a while, and I liked what I saw (yay for self-esteem rants!).

Alright- I'll say it- I'm sick of using politics in this blog. I am sick of trying to shock people into change. Not that I don't believe in change anymore, I still do, and I will still do political things. But estrogenet right now feels too heavy- too "this sucks! see? We're not equal" and there isn't an author. I mean, there is, but I feel like uploading research papers and like I'm trying to be a neutral third-party that mediates between dialectics without resolving anything. Where did I go?

To put it frankly, fuck that. This blog is now more inclusive- I'm talking about everyone's sexuality- not only women's. I will be blunt, I will be harsh, but I will speak truthfully. You may have noticed the new picture- it's me and one of my best friends, playing trombone. That's my little way of displaying self expression.

I am in a big turning point. Out of high school, not yet in college. My sexuality is not so "hush hush mom can't find out", but I still look over at my half-read copy of Jane Sexes It Up on the coffee table, wondering if my parents wonder why I read it (btw- it's a great book and I am kind of anxious to finish this entry so I can read more). I put a condom that had a cool package on the refrigerator door (its' so cool, it's from the Sierra Club's pink/green campaign and says "The fate of the world is in your hands and your pants!"), and it's still there, and it hasn't been discussed. My parents know I'm sexually active, and actually paid for my birth control willingly for a long time (they wouldn't even let me or my boyfriend at the time pay!), but never mentioned the fact that I am having intercourse except once, when my mother wondered why I have depression still, saying, "maybe he doesn't give you enough foreplay!" They know I plan on getting my Ph.D, but they don't know it's in sexuality studies. The conversations just aren't there, but then again, I'm kind of grateful. I'm still shy like three weeks ago when I was in high school (the piece of paper gives you credibility, but not that much comfort!). I'm fascinated by sexuality, but on a very academic level. Sexual experiences make me want to read and write more- it's so interesting to me.

But that's a story for another day. Another thing that I've noticed is that I'm abso-freaking-lutely TERRIFIED by the concept of love. I'm talking love like mutually-monogamous-partner/boyfriend/girlfriend/
wife/life-partner/husband/spouse/"wifie" (did I cover 80% of the bases?) type love exclusively here (incidentally, a cool quote I found earlier: "Sanskrit has ninety-six words for love; ancient Persian has eighty; Greek three; and English simply one." -Robert Johnson, The Fisher King and The Handless Maiden). Like, I forget how it felt (if that was love) and wonder if it even exists or is just a term that means "I am really glad you're my mutually-monogamous partner"- if this type of love even requires monogamy. I'm not so sure how I feel about monogamy at the moment. It sounds scary- kind of like love.

I also have found myself getting into the Flight of the Conchords (both the band and the subsequent HBO show), and there's this one song that keeps coming into head- "Business Time". If you haven't heard this song, it sounds like a seductive, smooth song which rivals "Let's Get It On" by Marvin Gaye or "You Sexy Thing" by Hot Chocolate- until you check out the lyrics. Worth the 99 cents. I wonder how I lived in a relationship so structured that the spontaneity was not there (Wednesday was sex day for us because we had free time between afternoon classes)- never ever let me do that again. I want to still have spunk in my sex life well into my 90's- even if I start dating my future husband/wife tomorrow and spend the rest of my life with him/her. Never stagnant.

But despite this jumbled-up flow of thought, the one thing stuck in my head throughout the process (and I think it has more to do than the fact that it happens to have been my ringtone for the past year), is Rilo Kiley's "The Frug" (if you have 99 cents to spare, iTunes it up). When I first started listening (or being obsessed with) this song, I was in the ninth grade, a poster child for the white, sub-suburban (you know, too out there to be a real suburb but not what you see in a Laura Ingalls Wilder book), middle-class virgin. Having been through many emotional and physical changes in the past four years, I had never stopped to analyze the feelings I had for the song, the meanings it provided. The lyrics are silly.

And I can do the frug
I can do the Robocop
I can do the Freddie
I cannot do the Smurf
And I can hate your girl
I can tell you that she's real pretty
I can take my clothes off
I cannot fall in love

And I can watch TV
I can shuffle off to Buffalo
I can do a back-bend
I will not call you back
And I can start a book
I can make some mac and cheese
I can sleep twelve hours
You'll never see my eyes

And I can hate your girl
I can tell you that she's real pretty
I can take my clothes off
I cannot fall in love
You'll never see my eyes
I will not call you back
I cannot do the smurf
I cannot fall in love
I'll never fall in love
I cannot fall in love...
And I can do the frug
I can do the Robocop
I can do the Freddie
I cannot do the Smurf

For some reason, I now get what she means.

<3may

Women and Music: Part Three- Why??!

2008-06-07T14:18:00.004-04:00

This is the final installment of my "best of my research paper" series- where I answer my essential question of why there are so few women in music. For the first two parts, see Part One and Part Two.

Why So Few Women in Music Still?

In the US today, women have much more freedom to express themselves, but still are not as accepted as they should be. As of 1990, approximately 90% of recording artists were men. In the post-feminist revolution, that shows the uncharted territory that feminists need to focus on in the future. Though women teach in high numbers, sociologists seek to figure out why women are not performing and recording in the same frequencies as men (Groce 221).

There are several theories around why women do not want to perform or record their music. Psychologist Carl E. Seashore theorized why women do not perform as often as men in 1940. He stated that women are equal on the basis of natural talents, intelligence, temperament, creativity, education (stating that a lot of great male composers are self educated), freedoms, and marriage. He then concluded that women are equal to men in everything, so it must be women’s need to be loved and adored that prevents them from composing. According to Seashore, women lacked the will to pursue higher careers and utilize their supposedly easily accessible resources (Seashore 298-302).

A study in Gender and Society interviewed local-level, female rock performers to see how they are treated in their performing life. The study found that rocking women are still subject to stereotypes. They are caught between the “Patti Smith” stereotype, perceived as ‘primitive’ or ‘amateur’ and the stereotype that female singers have little intelligence. Oftentimes, these women are expected to “sell sex”, and act as sexual objects instead of musicians. They are also often not allowed to make decisions in a mixed-gender band. Women also reported that they are often paid less than their male band mates (Groce 220-228). Lily Maase, a guitarist of "The Suite Unraveling" from Manhattan, mentioned that she has noticed this in her own band experiences during a group discussion on gender and music at Fitchburg State College on November 1st, 2007 (Maase).

Another theory about why there are so few women in music is sexual aesthetics. Sexual aesthetics is the theory that different works have a gender influence. Amy Marcy Cheney Beach, a Boston-based composer from the late nineteenth century was heavily criticized for this. The first woman to have her own symphony performed by a major performance group in America, her colleagues judged her work harshly. Critics could not take her work seriously because it sounded too masculine (Hale). The harsh media reaction may have discouraged female composers to publish their work.

Some modern-day theorists think that the way we compose music is inherently sexist. The formalist art movement took the emotion out art, stating that a piece of art is what it is. Many believe that music theory is a musician’s way of formalizing music. Creating a set of rules or guidelines during the formalist art movement prevented women, who were educated less frequently, from learning these rules, therefore banishing them from producing fine art. Music theory had the same effect on women at the time (Detel 113-126).

I then went on to discuss rap music and women for a bit (email me at alymay.sellars@gmail.com if you're interested, I just wanted to keep this short for blogger's sake), and concluded with:

There are many theories trying to prove why women do not participate in music equally, but it is a fact that the sexual difference has been in place throughout history. Though women now have equal access to education, past social norms still affect our mostly-reformed society. We must understand the past and present cultural influences on women’s roles as musicians in order to level the playing field in modern music. There is no single “correct” answer as to why women are not participating in music as frequently as men, but it is imperative that we examine and critique these theories to better understand current female musicians.

Works Cited (in this section):
Detels, Claire. (Winter, 1994). “Autonomist/Formalist Aesthetics, Music Theory, and the Feminist Paradigm of Soft Boundaries” The Journal of Aesthetics and Art Criticism, 52 (1), 113-126.
Gorrell, Lorraine. "Women Musicians and Their Fathers." Women Of Note Quarterly 5(1997): 17-23.
Groce, Stephen B., Margaret Cooper. "Just Me And The Boys? Women in Local Level Rock and Roll." Gender and Society 4(1990): 220-229.
Hale, Philip. “Mrs. Beach’s Symphony Produced Last Night in Music Hall,” Boston Sunday Journal, Nov. 1st, 1896, p. 2.
Maase, Lily. Fitchburg State College. Percival Auditorium, Fitchburg, MA. 11/1/2007
Seashore, Carl E. “Why No Great Women Composers?,” Music Education Journal 25/5(March 1940): 21, 88.

Women and Music: Part Two: The Role of the Government

2008-06-06T01:12:00.004-04:00

A few weeks ago, I promised a part two to a story about women in music. I am uploading a few edited sections of my senior research paper that I particularly found interesting. Enjoy!

Sometimes, the country you lived in also affected your freedom as a woman. In Nazi-occupied countries, writing dissonant music was considered going against the government, particularly if you are a woman. In the USSR, composers considered too radical were frowned upon heavily, often resulting in their arrest or blacklisting (Pendle 250-258). Even today, many women cannot compose freely without harsh punishment. In the Middle East, many women do not have the freedom to show their whole face, let alone work in the creative arts. Women in male-centric countries are often discouraged from producing art (Ibid, 280-285).

In the Nazi-occupied countries, like France, Germany, and Austria, composers were expected to write consonant, patriotic-sounding music. Any other sound was highly unacceptable, and would cause the composer to be punished (Ibid 250-258). Some women, including Inda, Prieto, and Schonthal, fled to Latin America, where they could compose freely (Ibid 267-272). Others did not have that freedom or decision. Germaine Tailleferre was among them. Tailleferre was the most conservative member of Les Six, a group of post-WWI composers. Their music was in response to a distaste for Wagner’s music. Tailleferre’s piece “Modere Sans Lenteur” demonstrates this, incorporating subtle new styles in a seemingly traditional piece (Ibid 258-261).

Meanwhile, the USSR was quickly becoming an established communist state, which occupied several local countries including Poland. Most modern music at that time was censored, because of a wide distaste for the capitalist countries who composed this music. Like the Nazi’s, Russian officials preferred to keep the music consonant, leaving few accidentals that modified the key. Violinist Grazyna Bacewicz composed a piece entitled “Sonata II for Piano”, which had both tonal (sounds in the key) and atonal (out of any noted key) components. Her bravery in using atonal music shows that Bacewicz may have not had the freedom to express herself completely because of the political situation around her (Ibid 250-258).

[Source: Pendle , Karin. Women and Music: A History. Bloomington, Indiana: Indiana University Press, 2001.]

The A Word, And No- We're Not Talking Donkeys

2008-06-04T19:32:00.002-04:00

First, I have some "I went on vacation from blogger" remarks and then I'll get going.

1- I am now a high school graduate:-) Now that the parties are dying down, it's time to come back to work.
2- Congratulations to Barack Obama on clinching the nomination- I think this is the first time in my short life that the candidate I backed all through the primaries won the nomination.
3- I have been busy attending a heated political discussion on my facebook that I haven't been blogging here- but I'm back!

I am gifted enough to have friends of many different religious and philosophical backgrounds, but sometimes, they find my views to be offensive, I can understand that, as much as I like to think I am inclusive. This heated facebook discussion was on a big, fat, a-word, and no we ain't talking donkeys: abortion (The Horror!).

Let me just cut to the chase: an argument that I have yet to see a counter-argument for is that according to the World Health Organization and the Guttmacher Institute in New York in a study published last October, the rates of abortion do not decline when it is illegal somewhere. Let me say this in my native tongue, teenager: people are just as likely to get an abortion where it is illegal than where it is not. This study DID conclude, however, that where abortion is legal, it is safe, done in clinics, hospitals, et cetera, by doctors or nurse practitioners who know what they're doing, but where it is illegal, it's done in hotels, houses...you know, they're not called "back alley abortions" for nothing.

I know this is old news for a lot of you from last October and whatnot, but it hasn't been stressed enough. People aren't shouting this from the rooftops, which scares me. It is possibly our best argument for keeping abortion legal yet, and I had completely forgotten about it until I was thinking to myself, "didn't my sister mention something about the rates of abortion being the same regardless?" I did a Lexis-Nexis search and poof!

[Rosenthal, Elizabeth. "Legal or Not, Abortion Rates Compare." The New York Times 12 Oct 2007] (along with many other articles saying basically the same thing).

To put this in pro-life terms, legalizing abortion gives us a greater chance of at least saving one of the lives, not sacrificing both. That sounds pretty damn pro-life-esque to me. We have the right to medically safe treatment in this country. If my daughter needs an abortion when I have kids of reproductive age, it better be in a hospital and done by someone who knows what they're doing. I want to keep it legal for my future children.

I'm out
<3may

Women and Music: Part One, The Role of the Father

2008-05-22T12:03:00.003-04:00

I did my big research project for my senior year on women in music, especially theories on why there still is a gender gap. I used my research to write a play called "The Girl Who Wanted to Play the Tuba", and wrote a short research paper on theories I found. Over the next few days, I want to upload some re-edited sections of this paper to express some theories that keep haunting me. This is just an excerpt, hence the lack of conclusion.

The Role of the Father and Married Life

In the past, historians have noted that a musician could only perform or publish their compositions with the permission of their parents, particularly their father. Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, arguably the most famous classical composer of all time, has a very supportive father who gave up his career to nurture his son’s music. Unfortunately, men were less likely to support their daughters in their musical pursuits, so few women could compose outside of the home. Musical historian Lorraine Gorrell said on the subject, “Women in previous centuries have been absolutely dependent on their fathers for the right to be educated, and even those women fortunate enough to receive an education had no guarantee they would be allowed to pursue their talents beyond a domestic setting.” Some women composers, like Fanny Mendelssohn, lived in the shadows of their male siblings despite their musical abilities. Others, like Clara Wieck Schumann, had fathers who encouraged their musical careers (Gorrell 17).

Fanny Mendelssohn Hensel (1805-1847) was not allowed to pursue music, according to her father. He wrote in a letter to her, dating from 1828, “However, you must improve! You must become more steady and collected, and prepare more earnestly and eagerly for your real calling, the only calling of a young woman- I mean the state of a housewife.” (Hensel). Her older brother Felix, famed for writing a common wedding march, is thought to have published her works under his name (Pendle).

Clara Wieck Schumann (1819-1896) was born as a musical prodigy, and toured throughout Europe in her youth. Her father trained her musically, and served as her manager and parent throughout this process. Some people theorize that he might have pushed her career too hard. She fell in love with Robert Schumann, who, at the time was an up-and-coming composer, not yet famous. Wieck's father also did not want Clara to be married in fear that she may give up her musical talents for motherhood and marriage. Their engagement sparked a big lawsuit between Schumann and Clara’s father, and eventually, Clara and Robert’s marriage was allowed by the court system (Pendle 155).

Clara’s musical performance changed very much when she was married. Her family had grown to include seven children. She still supported her husband’s composing, and would teach lessons out of her home. Occasionally, she would perform to earn more money for her family (Pendle 155-156). Unfortunately, Robert went mentally insane, which left Clara to care for her family. Though Johannes Brahms, a long-time friend of the family and student of Robert Schumann, helped Clara through it, she did not play music for a long time. Eventually, she found her calling, supporting her late husband’s music, and encouraging for performers to use it in concerts. Clara Wieck Schumann’s efforts are part of the reason that we all know Robert Schumann’s work today (Pendle 486).

Works Cited (in this article)
1. Gorrell, Lorraine. "Women Musicians and Their Fathers." Women Of Note Quarterly 5(1997): 17-23.
2. Hensel, Sebastian. The Mendelssohn Family (1792-1847), trans. Carl Klingemann, 2 vols. (New York: Harper Brothers, 1881
3. Pendle , Karin. Women and Music: A History. Bloomington, Indiana: Indiana University Press, 2001.

The "Tramp Stamp"

2008-05-20T00:44:00.003-04:00

Required reading:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Tramp+Stamp
http://www.freetattoodesigns.org/lower-back-tattoos.html

Okay- I have been thinking about this all day. Me being a legal adult and such, I have been considering whether or not to get a tattoo for a long time now, and I have been at the age for a little while where I can go to a tattoo parlor, pay, and get one done. The jury is still out over my own body, but I have done reflecting on the stereotypes chosen over what other people do.

Many male (and some female) friends that I have asked about this say "get whatever you want, as long as it's not a tramp stamp". I wondered for a long time why this name comes up over a lower back tattoo- just because it is slightly above her butt doesn't mean that it's insinuating that. It's a good place to get one just because it doesn't change a lot when you gain weight and it can be easily covered if you need to go to a formal event. I don't consider women with a tattoo any different than ones without them: some of my favorite teachers of all time have tattoos (in fact, the first time I ever saw a "tramp stamp" it was on a science teacher I have a lot of respect for: she's by no means a tramp).

And even if women ARE doing it to be sexy, what does sexiness have to do with being a tramp? I know plenty of girls with/who would get this tattoo that are total believers in monogamy- or are even abstinent themselves! I am sick of guys calling these tattoos a target- it's so demeaning. I would never get a tattoo just so a guy could ejaculate on it: that's not my style.

Plus! David Beckham has this tattoo. Is he a tramp?! No! He's a soccer star. But he's a dude. I am not about to accuse him of getting it to draw attention to his ass.

I think that in this day and age, it's disgusting that women cannot do something to make them feel/act/be sexy, when men are allowed to act like this: http://youtube.com/watch?v=4JMOh-cul6M
(okay- this is obviously an exaggeration, but some men do treat women like this and are considered macho)

The bottom line is this: if you like how a lower back tattoo looks and you want one, get it. And if you meet a woman you like with this tattoo, don't not date her because of it.

It's 2008: Let's act like it.

I'm Back: And I've Taken Off the Rose-Colored Glasses

2008-05-19T00:29:00.005-04:00

I just finished my last paper of high school today, which means I'm free.

I took off the rose-colored glasses and left my political and moral opposite after nearly two years of being 90% arguing and 10% liking each other, which means I'm free [what on earth was i thinking again?!]

I am done playing the best friend of a victim of a hate crime in a play that every person should see (which was an awesome experience, don't get me wrong, but VERY emotionally draining), which means I'm free.

I don't have classes, four weekly band rehearsals (well only one now, and i get paid), play practices, lectures, exams, homework, any of that, which means I'm free.

I am so sorry, estrogenet, for neglecting you! At one point, I was updating every minute I got a chance, but then those minutes became so short and spread out that a topic so huge as feminism could not be at the forefront of my mind (well actually, it was at the forefront of my mind, because my senior project and a communications class were based around it- but I wasn't about to upload all of my papers and call it a day). Now I have time, so you'll hear a lot more from me.

I have news- I am going to Tulane University's School of Public Health and Tropical Medicine, so I'll be moving to New Orleans. I am going to miss Fitchburg, Massachusetts more than I can even say, but I've been here for 18 years- I need to get out for a little while.

Over the past few months, I have done research and written on sexual aesthetics, art theories that may be linked to sexism, the history of women in music, why stripping may be good for feminism (you'll get that as a post very soon I hope), cyborgs, Naomi Woolf, and more. Do I choose to write about any of these awesome, progressive ideas?

Nope. I write about love and why it freaking sucks.

So as I stated previously, my boyfriend (who I won't name for privacy's sake, even though I am sure all of you who I know in real life know who it is) and I broke up. It started as us breaking up because he was going back home from college (and home is not Fitchburg) and I was going to be in NOLA by the time he gets back. Without getting into touchy stuff, let's just say we realized that had different views on relationships and outlooks on the world and it is a great thing that we ended up splitting. We were both pretty damn miserable, and uhh...had different ways of expressing that misery. And the ways he did it were not okay, and I frankly don't think my ways were, either.

When I told my mom what happened and that I now hated myself for spending two years loathing each other (ladies- never date someone that says he hates feminism if you write a blog called Estrogenet), she told me it was because I took the rose-colored glasses off.

Call me a naive young adult, call me what you will, but I honestly thought that my ex was like this supernatural God when I now realize he was far from it. And though he may be a great person (for a republican (like i said! Call me naive!- just kidding, not all republicans are monsters, and some dems aren't the best of boyfriends)), things that he did, things I let him do, were inexcusable. No woman, man, or anything should EVER be treated that way.

I am trying so hard to cut the teenage melodrama (and I shouldn't call it melodrama because that' s what he used to always call it- "cut the teenage melodrama" was like his favorite thing to say when I called him on things), but these are real feelings- and I know I'm not alone in this. How many girls my age, or any age really, date guys that treat them like crap? I know I'm not alone in this! And it's not like I think he did it intentionally at all- but I, a girl who teaches our middle schoolers about healthy relationships- felt too weak to speak up to anyone: friends, family, therapists, (all of which hated the way he treated me) or, most importantly, my ex himself. I didn't even notice! I teach classes about all of the warning signs of unhealthy relationships and I even had a little microcosm of a "huh, that's how I always feel"- but I did nothing. I think the rose-colored glasses left me blind underneath.

I know that this is not just a women's issue- some men date women who treat them the way I was treated, and go through the same cycles. Some couples just aren't nice to each other. I just felt so weak and it makes complete sense to me that I didn't update this blog for three months.

I am so glad to be back:-)

Back to writing, back to reading things that aren't textbooks- back to being myself.

I don't think I'll be back on the market for a boyfriend for a while though!

Jazz Music- Few Women

2008-02-09T15:43:00.001-05:00

Hey everyone!

I'm writing this from the 40th Anniversary High School Jazz Festival run by Berklee College of Music in Boston. We're all having a great time, and there aren't a lot of people walking around the booths, so I had a minute to update my blog about something on my mind.

It is no secret that music is a very male-dominated field, but through my observations today, it seems that jazz instrumentalists are even more likely to be male. A very large number of the girls here are vocalists, and do not play an instrument. The ones who do are often found wearing tight dresses that make them look "stunning", while their male counterparts are seen in the comfortable (and classic!) suit and tie. There's nothing wrong with that comparison, it's just that every girl in any ensemble I've seen today has stuck out like a sore thumb solely BECAUSE they are a woman.

I think Berklee as a school has done a fantastic job at providing equal opportunities for women. A lot of the staff I have seen around are women, and they have a good reputation for being as gender neutral as you can be in such a male dominated field.

The question is, why is jazz, a field of music which is dedicated to being "edgy" and progressive, still so male-dominated? Thinking back these past few weeks, I've been the only woman present at my jazz band rehearsals. What's up with that?

Something to think about. For my seven-page research paper on women and music, email me here: alymay.sellars@gmail.com

It's 2008- NOT 1958!

2008-02-06T12:50:00.000-05:00

Hey everybody!

Okay, two extremely disappointing conversations occurred while I was at school today, both incredibly depressing. Because of this, my blog needs a bit of a personal day.

1. I take an 8 AM Writing class. The teacher is nice, I like the readings, my only complaint is that I am probably the only person in the class that speaks up a lot, and I hate it when I dominate conversations, but I hate it when people don't talk even more. The homework assignment (which like three and a half of the twenty kids who take this class actually completed) was one of my favorite essays of all time, "I Want a Wife" by Judy Brady from a 1972 issue of Ms. magazine. What disgusted me is that these men who didn't even take the time to read the two-page article thought it was OK to complain about how Brady "whines" and degrades men. She does not degrade men in this article- she just points out how wives are degraded in general. She's not putting men down, she's talking about how convenient it is for men to have a wife, and that women should want wives, too.

We then read "Not All Men Are Sly Foxes", a counter-argument, which put up the argument that not all men are bad. I agree that all men are not bad- I don't even blame the ones who are sexist for it, I just think if they were more educated about diversity they would have a different perspective. The men in my class said "yeah, we're going to make up for it by taking the kids to Red Sox games when we're older!" I got snickers when I told them I considered being a surrogate mother for a gay couple, because those men would be better parents than I could be.

Finally, we topped off our gender studies day by reading "Our Barbies, Ourselves", which beyond the usual arguments about Barbie being made out of plastic, looking prettier than the average super-model, and having an anatomically impossible body, also brought up Barbie's positive attributes, her extreme independence and sexual prowess over the genital-lacking Ken. I thought this article was immensely intense and I wanted to rip the thing apart and to discuss every phrase, every word, every comma...but of course nobody in my Writing class actually cares about writing, so the discussion lasted about two minutes.

Why do we even need to have these discussions? Don't people know that women have to have domestic responsibilities and the responsibilities of the workforce with the state of our economy? In many heterosexual partnerships (but not all!), we're doing double-duty. According to Dr. Alice Domar, one of my favorite psychologists and author of Self-Nurture: Learning to Care For Yourself As Effectively As You Care for Everyone Else (read it), women still perform NINETY PERCENT of domestic tasks, though the gender gap in the workforce is getting more even every day. The majority of heterosexual partnerships have both partners working. Why do we even have to have these discussions still? Is gender still that big of a factor? It's at the point where I don't even think about the fact that I am a woman anymore, besides when it's actually an issue for people!

2. More disappointing than the conversations in class: I got back to my high school after that class, and I found out that while at my college classes, the class of 2008 (which I am a member of) opened discussion of changing our robes from the universal navy blue the previous three classes have used (our school is very new) to having the men wear navy and the girls wear white.

I may be a little disillusioned at some points, but I'm pretty sure I'm in the class of 2008, not 1958.

My gender has NOT influenced in any way my ability to get my diploma. I take the same classes I would if I were a man, and get the same grades. I got through the same core classes and extra-curricular classes as many men, and with the exception of one tiny high-level family planning class, all of my classes were co-ed (it was open to men, just nobody signed up for it).

Why do I have to wear a different color than my best friend at graduation, who has taken almost the exact same course load as me? Because his sexual organs are different than mine?

Trust me, his penis and my vagina didn't get us through high school!

The fact that we're having this discussion and it's students who are bringing it up is completely offensive. These are the same girls who gave me problems for voting a woman as "most likely to be a presidential candidate" (see my January tenth post). Is there a new revolution of women who are putting themselves back into the metaphorical kitchen?

What the heck is going on with feminism?

rant over.

What Are You Putting Into Your Body?

2008-01-17T10:12:00.001-05:00

I never trusted anti-depressants. Though I am well aware of the chemical causes of depression and anxiety, something always seemed a little fishy to me, and I always knew that with our body's natural homeostasis, something would go out of whack by taking antidepressants.

This article is not about homeostasis, the dangers of taking antidepressants, or anything of that nature. It is about whether antidepressants are really that effective at all.

First- your homework assignment. "Antidepressant Studies Unpublished" by Benedict Carey.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/01/17/health/17depress.html?ref=health

So what this article is trying to tell me is that these drug companies control what studies get published and what don't? It's like those ridiculous claim ads that we see on TV every day. A company advertising a cleaning product will only show advertisements where it can lift stains effortlessly. They don't show when the mess is caked on and it takes a lot of elbow grease to remove the stain- why would they? They wouldn't get customers. It makes sense for Pine-Sol, 409, Fantastic, and all of their friends to advertise that way.

A prescription drug is very different.

Let me say that again. A prescription drug is very different.

This is something that a medical professional declares not only that the user is healthy enough and fits the requirements for its use, but also that it will effectively treat them. If a doctor is not aware that giving this patient sugar pills will be almost as effective as giving them all of the chemicals, they probably would have wanted to mess with the patient's body a little less. We are powerful machines- doctors and nurse practitioners obviously know that. It only takes Anatomy and Physiology I to blow your mind away.

Of course, there are informed consent laws that dictate a patient must know about the nature of their treatment, its effectiveness, and how to follow up. These drug companies have essentially been denying their users from knowing the true scientific evidence about their treatments, making informed consent impossible. I thought that the part of the article where Dr. Drazen said, "we need to show respect for the people who enter a trial. They take some risk to be in the trial, and then the drug company hides the data? That kind of thing gets us pretty passionate about this issue," particularly rung with me. What about the people that are a part of the 86% of negative studies that go unpublished? You have to wonder about that.

It is a scientist's duty to report their findings and make them known, even if they are negative, and even if they will hurt the product that they are pitching. It is sad that the drug companies get to control their own studies...it makes me really not want to take prescription drugs, and worry about the effectiveness of my own.

Next time someone tries to prescribe me a prescription anti-depressant, I'll say I'm eating Sweet Tarts instead:-P

<3may

Farmer's Market Effect

2008-01-15T11:57:00.000-05:00

Hey everybody!

Today was the first day of classes here at Fitchburg State College, so the air is filled with a great bubbly energy of students getting ready to kick this spring semester into gear.

Well Tara Parker-Pope updated her health blog on NYTimes.com about an hour ago, which I am breathlessly addicted to, so all of the bubbling energy I am surrounded in and the mention of this important issue inspired me to share some thoughts about what she said.

First, read here: http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/01/15/the-farmers-market-effect/

Did you finish...all the way? Good.

Deep breath...

PREGNANT WOMEN ARE ONLY GETTING TEN DOLLARS A MONTH TOWARDS FRUITS AND VEGETABLES??! AND THAT'S AN INCREASE??!! BUT THIS STUDY SAID TEN BUCKS A WEEK WAS EFFECTIVE FOR JUST WOMEN IN GENERAL!!! THAT'S NOT OKAY!! THAT'S NOT FAIR!! today sucks.

okay, I had to use my whiny, upset, angsty-teen voice for that. At least they're actually giving more money than what, carrots and juice like they used to? They're making progress. However, if people want people to be off of generational federal assistance, when they are in the womb, they should be well-fed. Three dollars a week for a mother ("when you're pregnant, eat for two (or three...)") is not sufficient, and it's no wonder why people get health complications. Are we taking care of our prenatal citizen's nutritional needs?

Seriously people. If we can spend billions upon billions of dollars on the Iraq war, we can afford to feed our citizens. We are only as strong as our weakest links, and if we aren't giving enough assistance to the people who need it in our country, we don't look like such a big, scary country after all.

Okay- I need to go eat something...all of this talk of fruits and veggies is making me extremely hungry.

<3may

EDIT: I just read my sister's blog post from yesterday, www.buythechange.blogspot.com, and she was writing about the same sorts of issues from a different perspective (that of a former Peace Corps volunteer). Must be one of those sister things, on the same page. Check it out!

What Happened to Equality?

2008-01-10T14:39:00.000-05:00

Hey!

Okay, if you haven't heard that Clinton won New Hampshire, you've been living under a rock. First woman to win a presidential primary, blah blah blah.

Though I am an Obama supporter, I was actually relieved that this tiny hurdle has been surmounted, and women are finally considered potential presidents. That's a great step.

What's not great is some of my more conservative friend's reactions. Yesterday, in an IM conversation, my friend told me that women make more changes "behind the scenes" and that they are "too emotional" for the big job. First, is being too emotional necessarily a bad thing? Secondly, not all women are overly emotional- I have friends tougher than rocks and I have comforted this man several times over loss of love, emergencies, and arguments with friends. Though him showing emotion is NOT AT ALL a bad thing, it seems kind of ironic that, him having a penis and all makes him immune to emotional behavior.

Perhaps even worse, as a senior in high school, we voted on superlatives this week, and being a creative, artsy school, our prompts only included fun things like "most likely to get stuck in a refrigerator" and "most likely to appear on a reality TV show", not "prettiest smile" and "cutest couple". The first prompt was "Most likely to be a presidential candidate". The GIRL sitting next to me wrote "women should not run for president", and scolded me, and I'm a pretty public feminist in our school, for putting down my best friend and political soul-mate, who would make an excellent president!

So, in the year 2008, what is wrong with having a woman president? We have female mayors, congresswomen, governors, supreme-court justices, secretary of state, and pretty much every other profession out there, except the oval office. Plus so many other developed countries have a woman as a leader, and being what I like to consider a leader in the world, we should honor women. I am not saying go out and vote for Senator Clinton- I am an Obama supporter. I am just saying don't decide to not vote for her because of her gender. Genitalia should not be involved in political decisions, so having a vagina won't do anything bad for our country. We have female hard-core democrats and staunch republicans, which proves we are not all the same (it's sad I actually have to point that out).

Even if Ms. Clinton is a woman, it does not define her politics. Stop considering it a defining factor, US.

Thank you.

-may

PS- for another good blog from my hometown, visit hellofitchburg.com

Juno: A Movie Review

2007-12-29T20:51:00.000-05:00

Today, I FINALLY saw Juno, which wasn't as widely played as I was hoping it would be. This ironically heart-warming story was very well produced, very well played, and AMAZINGLY scored. Excuse me, I hang out with film people. I thought it was a very entertaining movie.

As for the effectiveness with this movie from a purely public health standpoint, I wish they had done more. Hormonal contraception isn't even mentioned, the term "sexually active" is heavily mocked. The only times that condoms are mentioned are a flashback involving a dorky school teacher and a banana and a lazy receptionist at an abortion clinic who tells Juno that her boyfriend's junk smells like pie when he uses a boysenberry-flavored condom (okay, first of all, you're not even supposed to use flavored condoms for intercourse, they can cause yeast infections, they are strictly for oral sex. Secondly, portraying the receptionist as lazy and bitchy pissed me off, thirdly, a receptionist is NOT supposed to talk about her own sex life).

You'd think that Yasmin, Ortho-Evra, NuvaRing, and the others would have soaked this movie as an opportunity for product-placement (you certainly saw a lot of ads for Sunny Delight and Sobe, and Scrubs gives NuvaRing placements like their show depends on it).

I also worried because it made finding an adoption partner look easy, and made things almost seem easy for Juno. She had no baby fat after it was born, and I don't want to spoil it but other unrealistic things happened.

But as a movie, I absolutely loved it. It was spunky, funny, and very well put together. I know this was a movie and not a public health ad, but there was so much they could have done. Just like Knocked Up, Juno was a great movie with a disappointing lack of public health plugs.

<3may

Pro-Life?!

2007-12-29T20:21:00.000-05:00

My sisters and fellow health-care workers of Albuquerque, New Mexico are having a great deal of difficulty with protesters of their clinics taking things a step way too far...

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/12/28/us/28albuquerque.html?_r=2&ref=health&oref=slogin&oref=slogin

Attacking several abortion clinics in one city is a terribly disgusting pattern. The poor women of Albuquerque! I am so worried that women there won't go for their pap smears and birth control refills because they fear for their personal safety. An attack on health-care is a disgusting concept, particularly if you're a member of a group of people who call themselves "pro-life".

How can people kill or risk lives in the name of being "pro-life" is simply beyond me. People get abortions because they would not be able to parent that child properly. Killing the potential parent or the parent's health care provider is NOT productive at all for their goals, in fact it's kind of hypocritical. I respect pro-life people who protest peacefully (though I get upset when they are too close to clinics and discourage people to visit the clinic), but I have a LOT of trouble with that blatant hypocrisy.

<3may

My Personal Declaration as a Feminist

2007-12-14T17:29:00.000-05:00

Hey all- first post in a month and I'm getting all self-centered again. Sorry this has taken so long! I dreamed of going daily and now I can't even do the weekly thing. I finished applying to college, so hopefully with more time on my hands I'll be able to write more.

After a conversation with a very close friend, I decided to write down what I felt a feminist is to me in a formal declaration. The cool thing about any sort of philosophy is that it's what you make of it. This is how I look at feminism- and feel free to argue with me. How you see feminism, is also awesome and I'd love to hear all about it. You can post, email, or any other sort of way contact me about your beliefs.

Declaration of a Feminist: A Brainstormed List

+ I will never let people tell me "no" simply because I am a woman
+ I will never tell myself "no" because I am a woman
+ I love being a woman, acting as a woman, living as a woman
+ If given the opportunity to change genders, I will not. I feel my gender is me, and I would deny myself personality if I left.
BUT
+ If someone else of either sex feels unrepresented and would like to switch genders, I am more than okay with that.

+Don't change your standards for me because I am a woman. That only can offend me, and make me feel less than men. Let requirements be required, if I can I'll meet them. Just don't make one of them genitalia on either end of the fence. Men can be nurses if they're compassionate enough, women can be firefighters if they are strong enough.
+ Give me my education and a fair pay for my job. Give me promotions when I deserve them, but don't use my gender as a reason to promote me.
+ Gender is about expression, NOT ability.
+ Gender is not the same as sex
+ Sex is determined by genitalia, and requires surgery to reverse. Gender does not.
+ If someone feels restricted by their gender, they are not dealing with feminists
+ Feminists don't require its followers to be androgynous: they accept androgynous people, but also accept people who live in traditional gender roles, as long as they accept people who do not choose to live in that lifestyle.
+ Feminism is about loving all genders.
+ It's nothing to be afraid of.

I am a woman. I am a feminist.
It's my favorite thing about me
Don't use me, or use it against me
Don't define me as a woman, define me by who I am

<3may

Would You Like A Beach Towel With Those Flip-Flops?

2007-11-18T14:15:00.001-05:00

Hypocrisy at its finest, Mr. Guliani.

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/11/17/us/politics/17giuliani.html?ref=health

How can you try and deny people their basic human needs (like healthcare) when you yourself noted its importance when you were mayor?

Not to be trusted. Not to be trusted at all.

I Wonder Why, Mr. Bush!

2007-11-14T16:13:00.000-05:00

Two articles today in the New York Times startled me.

This is no news to me:
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/11/14/health/14diseases.html?ref=health

Sexually transmitted diseases are on the rise. What's shocking as, entering 2008 soon, with vast technology, the curable diseases (gonorrhea, syphilis, and chlamydia- syph, chlamydia, and most forms of gonorrhea can even be cured by penicillin!) have the highest increase.

Then this one, which is unrelated, but really sad so I wanted to pass it along.

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/11/14/health/healthspecial/14hiv.html?ref=health

This article cites that if health-care centers could afford better diagnostic materials, this may have been prevented. This hasn't happened since the 80's.

So why do we have two major problems here that could be prevented with mediocre funding for health care in our country?

You tell me, Mr. Bush.

I am too angry to write any more about this. Way too angry.

A Room Of One's Own

2007-10-31T20:04:00.000-04:00

Most gender studies students read Virginia Woolf's A Room of One's Own at some point in their academic career. This book stresses the glass ceiling creative women feel.

Artists long for a room of their own. They need a place to do their creative work without interruption. As you can imagine, women who do on average 90% of the domestic responsibilities and have children to worry about get very little done in the creative realm. Writers stop writing, musicians stop composing, and painters stop creating. It's a very painful thing for the friends, families, and fans of those creators to see them lose their venting space, which brews stress. When that happens to a creative person, the pain is unbearable.

Woolf talked about this in the novel by creating a hypothetical character named Judith Shakespeare. Judith was just as talented as her brother William, but she was not encouraged to write, and was not educated in the same way as the Shakespeare we've all read. She only needed to go off and get married. This deeply depressed Judith, and she ended up ending her own life (ironically, so did Virginia Woolf) in grief, as she was unable to express herself creatively.

Virginia Woolf published A Room of One's Own in 1929. Over 75 years later, though women's rights have increased exponentially since then, the themes remain the same. I long for a place where I can write without interruption, practice my trombone without judgement, and start teaching myself the flute without harsh criticism. I've been down lately, and I think it has to do with my lack of creative space without interruption. When I work at home, my family members always need me to make dinner, take the dog out, or do laundry. When I work at school, I am bound to run into someone who interrupts my creative thought. Though I don't think at this stage in my life that has much to do with my gender, I still feel that I would be happier with more space. When I get older, if I still struggle with this, it will most likely have to do with the interruptions of being a mother/wife. As I stated previously, women in heterosexual partnerships have on average 90% of the domestic responsibilities, though we are likely to have jobs outside of the home, too. That is not an issue for me personally yet, but I can see it coming.

So keep these things in mind. If you are an artist/musician/writer, create a plan with your roommates or families to give you your space. Your talents are valuable, and we'd hate to have those lost to the perpetual stress of being a woman.

<3 May

A Tale As Old As Time: Exerting Masculinity in Disney Movies

2007-10-30T11:02:00.000-04:00

... Chorus:
No one fights like Gaston
Douses lights like Gaston
LeFou:
In a wrestling match nobody bites like Gaston!
"Bimbettes"*:
For there's no one as burly and brawny
Gaston:
As you see I've got biceps to spare
LeFou:
Not a bit of him's scraggly or scrawny
Gaston:
That's right!
And ev'ry last inch of me's covered with hair
Chorus:
No one hits like Gaston
Matches wits like Gaston
LeFou:
In a spitting match nobody spits like Gaston...
(from stlyrics.com)
* Note: The website where I found these lyrics used the term "bimbettes" for the women that sing about Gaston. I am not okay with that term.*

Users of the popular social networking site "Facebook" probably have come across the group "Disney Gave Me Unrealistic Expectations About Love" at some point. Citing jokes about kissing girls with 100 years worth of morning breath and the comfort of glass slippers, this group has passed 128,000 members in total. Let's face it- your prince isn't going to come to your little hut where you chill out with seven little men and kiss you, waking you from the sleep your stepmother put you in with a poisonous apple. That's just not happening.

The song that really gets me from Beauty and the Beast is "Gaston". Though he has a villainous role throughout the whole movie, there is no denying that Gaston was the definition of alpha male, and his popularity rivals Stephen Colbert is his part of France (no, I am not comparing Stephen Colbert to Gaston, though his television shows constantly satirize the concept of the alpha-male). From one of the opening lines "no one says no to Gaston" to towards the end of the song "in a spitting match no one spits like Gaston". His name is constantly repeated at almost every line, building his power. Having a group of people singing (including girls calling him "burly" and "brawny") about his ego doesn't help young boys to avoid that.

The constant asserting of manliness in this song also is not healthy for young boys, or the girls who let the boys walk all over them. I can remember playing Disney characters with the guys in preschool. They'd always get to be a Disney prince of their choice and they got to pick their princess (my pre-k boyfriend loved Aladdin, so I was always Princess Jasmine). When we were princesses, we'd do pretty much whatever the guys asked. Though I was only five, looking back, that created unhealthy ideas around what healthy partnerships are like.

So what can we do to protect our children from Disney movies? Instead of banning kids from watching these movies, we should work at encouraging Disney to write more women-friendly movies, so the future flicks will not have as many overtones around sexual stereotypes. Or, if we are aware of sexism in children's movies, when our children/nieces/nephews/students et cetera start to show signs of an unhealthy view of relationships, call them on it or show them a movie empowering women to show that treating women like that are the days of old. We cannot take back the damage that has been done to our gender, we can only keep it from happening again.

<3>

Gender Gap Myths Revealed

2007-10-28T20:42:00.001-04:00

Hey everyone!

The Boston Globe had a very interesting article in the "Ideas" section today (my personal favorite), called "The Difference Myth" by Caryl Rivers and Rosalind C. Barnett.

Read the article here:
http://www.boston.com/news/globe/ideas/articles/2007/10/28/the_difference_myth/

This article argues that the difference in women and men's performance as indicated by "studies" on the brain is slightly misleading. Barnett and Rivers point out flaws in the studies that prove that single-sex education is superior and, of course, points to the Bush administration at imposing these single-sex classrooms and encourages us to stop using the gender gap as an excuse.

This is what I thought about when I read this article. Feel free to post your ideas, too! This blog is a discussion. I'd love to see what you have to say.

1- This article reminded me instantly of Dr. Edward Hammond Clarke's analysis of women in education in his book Sex in Education: Or a Fair Chance for the Girls. You can read it free online as an e-book because it was written in 1873 (google it)! He uses the fact that we menstruate as the reason we fall behind in education, as though it is our fault. Trust me- if we could chose NOT to menstruate, a lot of us would. The studies that try and justify our differences only remind me of that.

2- There is no denying that there is a gender gap. I think that it's nurture though. All of the women in my family's recent history have gone into math or science to some degree (except for me), and economics for some reason is very popular. I think it's because my grandmother was a chemical engineer, which encouraged the women in my mother's generation to be scientists. Her mother died when she was five, and her father was a pharmacist. She was raised mostly by her grandmother, known in our family to be hard-working and tough around the farm, and grandfather, also a pharmacist. I almost feel outnumbered for NOT going into science. I think that had an impact on how we were all raised.

3- Even if those "studies" were actually true, I would NEVER send my children to single-sex classrooms. We learn by our experiences with the people around us. If we never work with men, how will we be able to communicate with them in our real lives? It's just another factor in our personality.

We gotta respect ourselves, womyn.

<3>

Have a Happy Yeast Infection.

2007-10-25T11:22:00.000-04:00

Have you guys ever noticed the stigma attached to the good old yeast infection? Why do we always hate on them so much? Friends whisper about them like they are an illicit substance, pharmacists uncomfortably fork over your fluconazole and don't ask if you have questions about that one.Or, if you're getting treated OTC, people look at you uncomfortably as you puzzle over which treatment to choose. When people know you have a yeast infection, they often don't know what to say.

OF COURSE this isn't everyone. I know plenty of people who comfortably talk about yeast infections, and pharmacists who will gladly tell you everything you'll ever need to know about your treatment plan. But if you are already in lots of discomfort, it would be nice if people wouldn't treat you like a leper. About 75% of women get a yeast infection at some point in their lives, and most of those get two or more. For more statistics and facts about yeast infections and treatments, read this page from our federal government:
http://www.4women.gov/faq/yeastinfect.htm

And for the social critique one that I prefer, put out by a bio professor at MSU:
http://www.msu.edu/user/eisthen/yeast/index.html

So if these yeast infections are so common, how come people can't talk about them? I think it has to do with female body stereotypes. Women are expected to be beautiful, pure, and I guess clean! Though a yeast infection has nothing to do with your cleanliness (you can get them from anything from birth control, to wearing a wet bathing suit, to personal lubricants with glycerin in them), people perceive them to be "unclean". This stigma is not cool. It causes women to not go to their doctors when they think they have a yeast infection (when the same symptoms could mean bacterial vaginosis or trichomoniasis), so they may not get treated for the real cause. People perceive yeast infections to be gross, so that only gives women more shame about their bodies for a normal and totally treatable infection.

That pisses me off.

So next time your friend tells you that she has a yeast infection, don't act like it's gross. Or next time you have a yeast infection, don't be scared. It's nothing to be ashamed of:-)

<3>

"Do You Love What You See When You Look In the Mirror?"

2007-10-18T15:30:00.000-04:00

http://loveyourbody.nowfoundation.org/

The Love Your Body campaign asks this question on the very first page of their website. I can see why they'd need to ask. Instead of us all embracing the bodies we were given, we constantly feel that we need to attack it instead of the embrace it deserves.

Even today in A&P, I was disgusted at the illustrations and models that they picked for their textbooks. I have a normal BMI, a very healthy body, and those pictures made me feel inadequate as a woman. Then I reminded myself it was love your body day. And even though my hips may not be as perfect as the model's, they're still my hips. Someday, they'll help me have children. or not if I so wish to not have children.

Love away!

Scientific Victory for the Pro-Choice World

2007-10-12T20:37:00.000-04:00

Hey Estrogenet-ers!

I want to share an article with you, by Elizabeth Rosenthal from the New York Times. The article can be read here:
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/12/world/12abortion.html?ex=1349928000&en=ae9a904e65be43a0&ei=5124&partner=permalink&exprod=permalink

(I am trying not to get too excited- I know science isn't cool with everyone and this will do nothing for them. In my opinion, science is science)

We finally have 'concrete' evidence to show what we already know: legal abortions tend to be safer than illegal ones, and that whether a country has legal abortion or not has little effect on the number of women seeking abortions. If a woman wants an abortion, she's going to try to get one. If she's getting one anyways, it should be a safe abortion.

That's why we have places like Planned Parenthood (plannedparenthood.org) or the clinic I work with. In order for abortion to be "safe, legal, and rare", we need to keep abortion legal, and give adequate funding to sexual health clinics. That way, not only will the abortions they provide be safer, women will be in an environment where their clinicians will promote contraceptive use, to eliminate the need for an abortion later in life. Sounds like a scientifically sound and practical way to deal with this issue to me.

Actually, as we speak, a network of "pro-life" networks are protesting twenty-four hours for forty days outside of many Planned Parenthoods across the country. One doctor, going by "Emily X", is posting entries about her experiences with this. Today was Day 17. I encourage you to tune into her blog, at www.iamemilyx.blogspot.com.

<3

May

*estrogenet*